I’m a female member of Universe Club. Although this is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I sometimes find myself unable to keep my feelings separate and end up getting emotionally involved. It can be enjoyable, but at times it’s also a little painful. Some people can keep things fun and uncomplicated, but when I get too close to someone, I end up falling for him. If you have any tips or personal experiences for maintaining a comfortable distance while seeing someone, I’d love to hear them.

The artist is doing well? That’s good to hear. Maybe it would be a good idea to have two people you’re falling for. If you only have one and things go wrong, it can really mess you up.

I think feeling a little conflicted is part of the essence of relationships between men and women. I understand how you feel. I’ve been doing this for over five years now, and every so often, I end up really liking someone or becoming a little more emotionally invested than I should. At the moment, there’s one special person in my life, and I’m always telling myself to keep my feelings in check. We’re only human, so of course we develop feelings. But as adults, I’m constantly reminding myself to stay in control so I don’t become too deeply involved and turn into a burden for the other person. Love is blind. While you’re seeing someone, it can be both painful and enjoyable…

I think it’s only human, and that’s a good thing. I don’t dislike the Space Club girls who stay completely transactional and focus single-mindedly on their goals, but I have to say, I find you more likeable, haha. Our situations are different, so I doubt my approach will be much help, but I’ll share it anyway. After a lot of twists and turns, the allowance I give each of the three Space Club girls I’m currently seeing is ¥100,000. It’s the same whether we stay overnight or just have dinner. Transportation costs are included, too. Since I tend to quickly decide that I either like or dislike someone, this arrangement seems to suit me. Compared with the past, I can spend my time much more peacefully, haha. The key point is that we’ve agreed the amount won’t change even if we travel somewhere together. Just last month, one of the girls came all the way from Tokyo to Hakata. The trouble comes when it isn’t a Space Club girl. Miku-chan is a 21-year-old university student. We met over tea, so I felt comfortable with her. But after spending time together, I ended up developing romantic feelings for her. I can only assume she must be taking something questionable to say she likes a guy in his sixties—practically an old man. Wait, Miku-chan is a pharmacy student, so I suppose that’s actually possible.

Since men are generally older, some are able to maintain a healthy distance through self-restraint, based on their life experience and age, thinking, “This is an allowance-based relationship, so I shouldn’t go any further.” On the other hand, men who want to be intimate with various women from the outset may see women primarily as objects of desire, so they may not feel the need to think about boundaries at all. Women generally have less life experience than men, so I think some may have difficulty managing that kind of distance. (Of course, just as some men view women as objects of desire, I’m sure some women see men primarily as a source of money.) I think it’s best to always keep in mind that this is an allowance-based relationship. Many men dislike women who are overly focused on money, but with a woman who considers emotional boundaries, thinking a little more about money than you do now may actually help maintain the right amount of distance. That said, emotions don’t always go according to plan, so I think it’s best to view everything as part of the learning experience.

I try to keep these two things in mind: ① Increase the number of monthly arrangements so I don’t get too attached to anyone and end up suffering ② Don’t take everything women say at face value ① Increase the number of monthly arrangements so I don’t get too attached to anyone and end up suffering If I fall for one star—the girl who stands out most—I end up letting her get the upper hand over me. So I keep several arrangements and spread my feelings around. I have two at the top, plus a third-place girl, and those three keep me emotionally stable. Below them are girls ranked fourth through sixth, then seventh through ninth, and then tenth through twelfth—something like that. I’m sure people will say it’s cruel to rank them, but the hierarchy forms on its own. The top two are on a completely different level in terms of how devoted they are to me, and they’re also far more attractive. The girls lower down almost never contact me themselves, and the relationships are pretty superficial. ② Don’t take everything women say at face value There’s an age gap, and I’m giving them money, so whenever a girl says, “I like you,” “I love you,” or “I’m your girlfriend,” I automatically translate it as, “I want your money.” Some of them may genuinely mean what they say, but there’s no way for a papa to know whether they’re sincere or not. I’d like to believe what the two at the top say, but I’m giving them amounts that are on a completely different level from what I give the others, so it’s impossible not to question their words. We’ve already broken up, but among the more than 160 women I’ve approached, there was only one whose words I could take at face value. I have these two women who are clearly ahead of everyone else, and their rankings switch every week, which has turned me into a bit of a mess emotionally. I’m trying not to fall for them, but if I don’t develop feelings at all, I end up losing interest instead. Maybe what I need is one steady number-one who rises above these girls—but that would probably be painful in its own way too...