I’m considering joining a club, but I’m unsure how to register my relationship type.

I’d like you to clearly state your preferences in your profile. That way, men can make offers knowing exactly what they’re agreeing to. As I wrote in a column, I once met a woman whose terms were “C only,” but I wasn’t allowed to touch anything above her neck—kissing was absolutely off-limits. She wouldn’t touch me at all, but she said it was okay for me to go down on her, get her aroused, and then put it in just there with a condom. Oral was also off-limits, and I ended up losing interest and not being able to perform, so I gave her the allowance and we went our separate ways. If I’d known from the start, I wouldn’t have made an offer, so please state these things clearly in your profile. I’ve realized that I like women who are somewhat erotic and willing to do a variety of things, lol.

I think quite a few male members would say, “I assumed condoms were a given in an adult relationship, but if kissing and things like that are off-limits, I wouldn’t have made an offer.” So it may be better to clearly state that in your profile and patiently wait for men who are still willing to make an offer. That seems likely to lead to fewer problems. As for your relationship type, C or D should be fine if you can judge on the first day whether things can develop into a relationship. If you don’t click, including when it comes to those matters, there’s nothing wrong with turning him down.

I think over 90% of women who are open to an adult relationship (intimate) require condoms. In that sense, that part is perfectly normal, so I don’t see any problem with it. The issue, I think, is the fact that kissing isn’t allowed and that oral is only with a condom. That’s simply a matter of personal choice. As for the relationship type, it’s meant to show how you feel about an adult relationship, so I don’t think it’s related to the terms you’ve listed here. So you don’t have to choose A—you could choose B, or even C or D. Regardless of the relationship type, the first meeting is generally just dinner. If he invites you to have an adult relationship during dinner, you can respond to that first and then discuss your terms afterward. I get the feeling that many men wouldn’t be comfortable with those terms. But before getting to that point, if you focus on how to make the other person enjoy your company and how to make him want to continue seeing you despite those terms, I think things may work out. In the end, I think it comes down to your qualities as a person. > Please tell me. To summarize: 1. The relationship type is up to you—you can choose any of them. 2. Tell him your preferences after he invites you and you agree. If you feel that he’s not someone you want to be with, you won’t pursue an adult relationship anyway, so there’s no need to bring it up in the first place.

Are you referring to the girl I mentioned in my answer here? https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/17146 I’m actually a man who prefers quick sex without mucosal contact myself. The first time, I always use a condom for vaginal sex, and I absolutely don’t allow unprotected oral sex. I’ll allow oral sex with a condom because I want to check her technique. The only exception is someone who has never done it before—someone who’s a virgin. I feel the same way as you because I’m afraid of STIs. We think alike. After trying sex with a condom, if I like her and want to continue seeing her, I take her to a doctor I know and trust and pay for comprehensive tests—throat, vaginal, and blood tests. Quite often, things like chlamydia or gonorrhea turn up. In that case, I generally end things there. However, if I’m particularly fond of her, I may continue after confirming that she has completed treatment. Of course, I have her tested from time to time afterward as well. The reason I go that far is that I’m in multiple relationships, and some of the girls have boyfriends or generous (well-paying) papas. I’d feel terrible if I passed something on to them through me. Judging from the answers to the question I quoted above, men who think like I do seem to be in the minority. But a urologist who’s one of my papa friends warned me that STIs can be transmitted through unprotected oral sex, so I’m sure there are other men who think like I do. Apparently, that doctor never allows oral sex without a condom. As for kissing, I’m not especially fond of it myself, so a no-kissing boundary doesn’t bother me at all. Some girls don’t allow kissing or cunnilingus, but are perfectly fine having group encounters with men they don’t know at a swingers’ club—in fact, they love that kind of thing. During the whole encounter, I stay nearby and keep watch to make sure the men don’t remove their condoms, kiss her, use saliva as lubricant, or anything like that. Ironically, I think the people who are most careful about STIs are men like me who are trying to maintain healthy multiple relationships. Yet simply because we date multiple women, we tend to be seen as “high risk.” In the papa-katsu world, most men are actually seeing multiple women. I think the more dangerous ones are the men who hide that fact and say, “I’m only seeing you, so let’s go without a condom.” As for your question, I think either relationship type C or D would be fine. However, apparently there are men who say, “Sure, that’s fine,” during the discussion, but then pressure the woman at the time by saying, “Kissing should be okay, right?” If I were a woman, I’d secretly turn on my phone’s voice recorder. If he forced anything on me, I’d submit the recording to the club as evidence. Then I’d get tested afterward, and if he had transmitted an STI to me, I’d report it to the police as sexual assault and demand compensation for medical expenses and emotional distress. I’m serious. A relationship requires consent, so agreeing to respect a boundary and then reversing course is absolutely unacceptable. Men tend to take this lightly, but for a woman, it can become a traumatic experience. If you register, look for “Mac” at the Nagoya branch and send him a “You’re wonderful” message saying, “I’m the person who asked that question.” I’ll consider making you an offer.

I once met a lovely woman and thought, “I’d be fine paying 15 per meeting for her.” But when I asked about her expectations, she said 10 per meeting. I thought, “That’s cheap,” and we had an adult relationship, only to find out that fellatio was off-limits and kissing was limited to light kisses. Looking back, I wonder if she lowered her allowance because she didn’t allow fellatio and only offered light kissing. I think you should lower your requested allowance too—say, from 7 per meeting to 5. Or you could let the man choose. For example: “It’s 6 if unprotected fellatio is included, plus 1 more for deep kissing, for a total of 7 per meeting.”

From a man’s perspective, he may want to avoid kissing with a sex worker, but want to kiss a dating partner he genuinely likes. Being okay with > condom-protected oral sex also feels pretty professional. I think you should carefully consider what you’re able to do and what your goals are before deciding whether to join, or whether to choose another option. With sex work, “no kissing, condom-protected oral sex, and adult relationship (intimate)” is completely protected, so you may be better suited to sex work than a club. At a club, “no oral sex and no adult relationship” may be acceptable depending on the circumstances, regardless of type. However, even girls classified as Type A may initiate kissing from the very first day, so please think carefully before joining. If you were to choose a type, perhaps you should proceed on the assumption that it will be Type A, limited to up through Type B with no kissing—and then be prepared for the surprise that she’s actually Type C…