If you’ve been seeing each other for four years, is it possible that she’s developed at least some genuine feelings for her papa (a male supporter)?

In my case, I tend to think, “Anyone who doesn’t fall for me must be crazy,” so I honestly don’t really care whether the other person likes me or not. Isn’t the person asking simply lacking confidence in themselves? There are two kinds of people in this world: people I like and people I dislike. Not people who like me and people who dislike me. I wonder what made me turn out this way. Well, I’m happy, so who cares? One more thing: I believe in what I call the “uncertainty principle of like and dislike.” “Like” and “dislike” are decided when you put them into words. Until then, the two feelings are mixed together in an indistinct state. Words can be such a tricky thing. They’re convenient, but this is one example of how people get tossed around because words exist. That’s why there’s no such thing as someone you like 100% or someone you dislike 100%. In other words, even the person you like most has aspects you dislike, and even the person you dislike most has aspects you like. It might feel like I’m just glossing over things, but I think there’s actually a lot of truth to it. So earlier I wrote that there are people I like and people I dislike, but strictly speaking, that’s not quite right. I try not to divide people based on whether I like or dislike them. In practice, it’s more like “people it’s okay to associate with, and people I should be careful not to get involved with.” Someone might ask, “So you have no feelings?” But those feelings are only temporary. They’re different from liking or disliking someone. I take the same approach with the women I date. Rather than people I like or dislike, they’re people I want to see again and people I don’t want to see again. Aya wrote that she “dislikes” her generous papa, but if she truly disliked him, I don’t think she would keep seeing him. That brings me to this thought: I think the words “like” and “dislike” exist for women’s benefit. Women overwhelmingly benefit from having those words. Men worry, make an effort, and give so much—just to receive that one word, like the person asking the question. As for women, even if a man tells them he “likes” them, they don’t dance for joy the way men do. They want something more tangible. Maybe the words “like” and “dislike” were invented by women to control men. Don’t let yourselves be fooled. When a woman says she “likes” or “dislikes” you, it’s a trap, like a mermaid luring a sailor down to the bottom of the sea. So if you felt a jolt reading that Aya “dislikes” her generous papa, watch out. LOL

I’m painfully in love with the papa I’ve been seeing for seven years, but I can’t stand the generous (well-paying) papa I’ve been seeing for five years. I wonder why that is. Maybe it’s because the seven-year papa is sincere, listens to me all the way through, and genuinely engages with me. I don’t receive any money from him anymore—I simply like him as a person, and I’d cry if we ever broke up. He’s not really my papa anymore. Aside from people I liked back in school, he may be the person I’ve loved most in my entire life. On the other hand, no matter how much the five-year papa increases my allowance—even into the hundreds of millions of yen—buys me an apartment, or takes me on lavish trips and dinners, I just dislike him more and more. Today, he made a discriminatory remark while we were out drinking, and it made me feel sick. I told him, “Please stop saying things like that,” but instead of engaging with me, he said, “I don’t remember,” and “You’re too negative.” When something like this happens, the seven-year papa tries to understand my frustrations and anxieties and discusses them with me rationally. The five-year papa, on the other hand, doesn’t take anything a woman says seriously and just says, “Shut up and follow me.” To me, he’s like an alien from another world—in the worst possible way. So maybe no matter how many years we’re together, I can only see him as a source of money. I liked them both about equally at first, though… I guess it just comes down to personal compatibility.

Personally, I wouldn’t get your hopes up too much. It does seem clear that: - You can have sex with the allowance added on. - Since it isn’t a burden for her, the arrangement has continued for a long time. But it could also be because: - She has no other offers, so she has no choice. - Your allowance terms are good. - Normal sex isn’t a burden for her. Just my personal impression, but there really aren’t many papas who are simply low-pressure and easy to deal with. In the papa-katsu world, being “normal” alone puts you in the better category, so perhaps that’s the case with you…

Even if they usually say things like “I love you!” when you dig deeper into what they mean, they’ll say, “I don’t mean it that way.” I think it’s probably happiest for both sides to hold on to the fantasy that they’ve been together for four years because there are genuine feelings involved.

If you’re only asking about a little affection, I think you can generally judge that by whether you’ve been able to go on four or more dates. Of course, some women meet only for the money, so even after four or more dates, they may not have developed any affection. Still, I feel there are more women who do develop some fondness, so in general, that seems like a reasonable benchmark. However, when it comes to genuine affection, I think factors like whether she enjoys spending time with you and whether you take her to stylish restaurants matter more than the length of time you’ve been seeing each other. So if you’re a good person, she may start to develop feelings for you fairly early on. If not, she may still not feel any affection even after four years. But if you’re only asking about a little fondness, I think a woman who has agreed to see you four or more times probably does have some.

Even without four years passing, I think it’s possible for them to develop at least some affection for you.

I’ve ended up in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship several times with women I met through Universe Club. Some couples even meet through Universe Club and go on to get married, so it’s entirely possible that the woman who posted the question genuinely likes you. However, it may be affection or emotional attachment rather than love. It could even be dependency.