I meant “second wife,” not “second woman.” Sorry.

Are you familiar with the concept of a “mistress” in the traditional sense? Since a mistress could also be registered in the family registry, it seems like it might be what you’re looking for. Her position could be guaranteed not only by the wife, but socially and legally as well. Legally, however, this only existed until it was abolished from the Family Registration Act in 1898. It no longer exists today. The wife would be aware of the mistress’s existence, and it wasn’t necessarily something that had to be hidden from society. In that respect, it was very different from an affair kept secret from the wife. There were even agencies that introduced people to mistresses in those days. Japan is a democracy, so if enough people felt that such a system was necessary, perhaps the concept of “mistress” could be reinstated in the Family Registration Act. Maybe this isn’t such a grand issue, and all you really want is for your wife to accept it. In that case, you might need to gradually change her attitude toward the idea. Come to think of it, there are also stories of husbands who arrange for their wives to have affairs so they can get divorced. If you think it through, there may be all sorts of strategies. However, I don’t think there’s any one method that works for everyone, so it might be worth considering various options. Incidentally, Akira Narita, who used to write telephone-club manga, wrote in his comics that his wife approved of it. He also seemed to imply that even his daughter knew about it.

It really depends on how the man, his wife, and his children think about it. It’s probably a matter of attitudes toward fidelity. You do sometimes see cases where a wife tolerates her husband always having a mistress because he earns extremely well and is very capable of providing—so well-off that she’d actually lose more financially by divorcing him. Legally speaking, if you wanted to become a second wife, it would be possible if you moved to places like Dubai or Morocco, where polygamy is recognized by law. Move to Dubai with your girlfriend, lol. Apparently, Dubai allows up to four wives, lol.

You’re being rather self-centered. If you want to keep a second partner, you need to have a certain level of income. Can you give her a black card? Can you take care of her food, clothing, and housing? You also need to provide her with treatment that ensures your wife won’t interfere in her life. No one is going to agree if you approach them outright and say you want to make them your second partner. Of course, you also need to make sure she doesn’t interfere in every aspect of your life. Even if she eventually says, “I’m tired of this—I want to break up,” you should continue supporting her for the rest of her life. Restricting a woman’s life requires that level of commitment.

There’s no such thing as a “second wife” system in Japan. Stop talking nonsense and face the reality of what you’re actually doing. Once you’ve done that, if you acknowledge your own wickedness—or your nature—and choose to continue, that’s your life, so you’re free to do as you please. By “wickedness,” I mean acting with the deliberate awareness that you may betray and hurt the people around you—including her, and your family in the broadest sense. Facing reality means not covering even your own heart with lies. Paradoxically, from the moment I decided to pursue multiple relationships, I accepted that I would become lonely. If I ever remarry in the future, I’ll cut off all relationships with other women. That’s what it means to spend your life with someone and build a relationship of trust. In my opinion, the person asking this question lacks resolve. They’re half-hearted—a person who can’t commit. That said, some people may wonder about men like cult leaders who effectively live with multiple women, have children with them, and somehow get along. How do they manage it? I think I could probably do something like that if I really wanted to. Anyone who can read between the lines of what I write here will understand—I have a distinctive charisma. The key points are: 1. How you choose your partners. Don’t overlook women who become completely absorbed in you. 2. Financial power. Whenever they complain about something, say, “Do you need more money?” and pour in an overwhelming amount of cash. 3. Get hold of their vulnerabilities. In other words, make the woman give up and believe, “I have no choice but to stay with this man.” Showering her with money until her sense of its value becomes distorted is one way. Having her bear your children is another. If someone in her family needs long-term care, you could look after them and hold that over her as leverage. Basically, you psychologically imprison and brainwash her before she even realizes what’s happening. Constantly whispering, “You’re the kind of person who can’t function without me,” might even work on women involved in papa-katsu, since many of them have low self-esteem. Women in papa-katsu may be plotting to extract money from men, but at the same time, some are waiting for a strong enough man to come along and completely overpower them. When they’re confronted with enormous financial power and a mentality stronger than their own, they can be surprisingly fragile and fall apart completely. I once heard about a woman from the “black” side of the Universal scene who was doted on by papas. She met a man who offered her astonishing terms and treated her almost like a sex slave. She was so moved—“How could anyone treat me like this?”—that she was taken off the market and kept by him. I believe that man also built a harem and fathered children with multiple women. The balance among points 1, 2, and 3 varies. Some men build harems without having any financial power at all. But ultimately, I think that’s what it comes down to. It may seem mysterious to ordinary people, but to someone like me, it’s fairly transparent.

If she’s your second wife > “She wants to be with me forever, and I want that too.” If she really wants that, I think it’s best for the man to neither deny nor affirm anything. That way, she can interpret things regarding your wife and children in whatever way works for her, without you having to say anything, and she’ll feel more satisfied with that understanding. The reason is that you can’t exactly praise your wife, but at the same time, if you don’t dislike your wife or mistreat her, you wouldn’t want to lie either. The least troublesome approach is to let your second wife continue understanding things in the way that suits her best—even if it’s just wishful thinking… It’s perfectly fine if your second wife hopes to one day take your wife’s place, as though she’s waiting for her turn. And honestly, I don’t mind being seen that way. Update: After reading Tsubaki’s answer, do you mean getting official approval from your wife (and children), rather than just your wife and children being aware of her? Wouldn’t implicit approval be enough? After all, the very fact that you have a second wife implies it… If you love your second wife more than your current wife, you could divorce your current wife, make her your second wife, and make your second wife your primary wife. However, in that case, your current wife would need to continue loving you even after the divorce. I think that would be closer to the ideal. Both women would have a relationship with you built on enough love to lead to marriage, along with a sense of security and trust. Even if you couldn’t marry both of them, you’d still have a bond strong enough for them to continue loving you after a divorce.