The possessiveness and jealousy toward other women from a girl I met at Universe, whom I had cared for like family, became increasingly intense and crossed the line, so I ended things with her. Now she’s furious, and I’m at a loss.
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She says, “I was planning to spend the rest of my life with you, but you’ve ruined my life. You need to take responsibility.”
I gave her more than enough allowance, so I’m not sure what to do.
We had some good times, and I don’t want things to turn ugly, but I also have no desire to get back together.
Does anyone have any good ideas? Do I have no choice but to hire a lawyer?
I’m single, but I’ve never intended to get married—not to her or anyone else—and I had already told her that.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂60s👑Universe male member
From a woman’s perspective, there’s no such thing as “more than enough.”
It’s also perfectly natural for a woman to become “extremely jealous of other women.”
Whether she was motivated by money or by love, the fact that she’s become that emotional isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I think she’ll calm down with time.
If you truly “cared for her like family,” then once things have settled down—in a few months or perhaps half a year—I think it may be possible to rebuild an even better relationship than before.
Was she a woman you genuinely had such strong feelings for, or was she merely a passing phase? It might be good to reflect on that yourself.
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There are plenty of women who don’t know how to keep things casual either, though you don’t hear about it very often.
But I feel like, before things got to the point where he said all that, you probably already had a sense that he was serious…? (Actually in love and even considering marriage.)
There have been cases where things turned into incidents, so I think it’s best to resolve it quickly before anything happens ^^;
If he’s genuinely in love, he might end up thinking, “Even if I pay 10 million yen, this isn’t about money!!” It’ll probably be a shock, but you should talk to a lawyer.
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I don’t know who wrote this, but it sounds like something I’ve heard somewhere before. And the whole “in his 60s” setup is laughable.
If it were me, I wouldn’t post it here. I’d think it through on my own and carefully work out a strategy—especially since he’s in his 60s.
Also, as you’ve probably realized from writing about this repeatedly, women in papa-katsu lie as casually as they put on makeup. You might want to verify the details properly—assuming you have the nerve to do so.
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1. She told you, “I thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together, but you’ve ruined my life. I want you to take responsibility.”
2. You had been giving her more than enough allowance.
3. You had already told her that you had no intention of getting married.
Based on all that, I think she’s after your money.
Since you’d been giving her more than enough allowance, she probably saw you as wealthy. To put it bluntly, she may have been upset that her “cash cow” suddenly broke things off with her. If getting back together isn’t an option, perhaps she’s thinking, “Then I’ll make things difficult for him.”
Once the relationship has become this tangled, there’s no easy solution. Things have already blown up.
It’ll probably be difficult for the two of you to discuss this calmly, so I think your only option is to involve a lawyer and work toward a resolution.
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It sounds like she’s demanding that you “take responsibility,” but hasn’t specifically said how much money she wants.
Since this seems like a yakuza-style “Show me your sincerity!!” demand, I recommend hiring a lawyer immediately.
In addition to having the lawyer handle negotiations with her and act as your shield, show them your entire message history on your phone and ask whether you can report this to the police as stalking.
Once she receives contact from your lawyer and a warning from the police, things will probably calm down for the time being. If they don’t, your only option may be to have the police physically intervene.
You should also encourage her to hire a lawyer or consult one. If you can find a lawyer willing to take the case, the easiest solution would be for the two lawyers to negotiate a reasonable settlement payment and bring the matter to a final resolution.
Of course, if you absolutely don’t want to pay even one yen, tell the lawyer you hire. That may well be possible too.
However, I wouldn’t recommend provoking resentment or leaving bad blood behind. Even if it’s just one woman, it would be frightening if she came charging at you carrying gasoline. Sometimes it’s better to “lose in order to win”—give a little and gain peace of mind.
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> “I want you to take responsibility.”
If that’s what she’s saying, it sounds like she has something specific she wants from you. What exactly is she asking for? Money?
If it’s money, it seems like the matter could be resolved—but you don’t want to pay anything unnecessary, right?
I can’t say for sure without hearing her side, but in the first place, I think the problem was that you treated her like family and said things that implied you would spend the rest of your life together.
Even if you said it casually, those words may have been very important to her.
And if you’re going back on what you told her, I do think it’s only natural for you to take responsibility.
If this can be resolved with money and you want to avoid a dispute, I think it would be better to settle it financially.
From now on, you should also avoid saying things like that to women.
In the first place, if you had a good relationship with her, the classy thing would be to give her some parting money without being asked. I think you should reconsider what an adult relationship (intimate)—as opposed to prostitution—is really supposed to be.
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It already seems like things have gotten quite contentious, so I don’t have any brilliant suggestions. I think your best option is to wait until she realizes that arguing won’t resolve anything—or simply gets tired of it. If things escalate, you may want to consult a lawyer.
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