Did you get jealous after seeing boastful posts from women who are all about money? lol
Even when they’re receiving a lot of money, their partners may be a terrible match. They suppress their feelings and force themselves to put up with all kinds of things for the money, while deep down, they can feel something like a festering grudge building up and their mental well-being being worn away. Yet they want to convince themselves that, since they’re making so much money, this must be the right choice—and they want to insist on that, so they post about it nonstop on social media. It’s not uncommon for someone to make an incredible amount of money but become addicted to hosts because of the stress, with nearly all of it flowing right back to them. There’s no need to envy people like that lol
Seriously, though, I think “we’re compatible in many ways” is pretty important. In reality, that kind of connection is quite rare, and I think you were incredibly lucky to meet someone like that.
Still, staying over every week for ¥30,000 a month? No way. That’s completely a boyfriend’s price. It’s almost embarrassing to call that an allowance—it’s basically just transportation money.
Since you’re compatible in many ways and want to continue, maybe you should explain that you don’t consider him your boyfriend, but are viewing this within the framework of a dating club, and ask whether he could reconsider the allowance. Of course, since you’ve accepted these terms for two years, he may wonder, “Why bring this up now?” If an outsider looks at whether it’s right or wrong, they’ll probably say, “That’s not okay.” But you’ve been doing things this way for two years already.
If you suddenly changed completely and demanded money, the relationship would probably end normally enough. But I’ll say it again: people you’re compatible with in many ways are rare. So I think you should explain things more carefully and tell him about the hesitation and inner conflict you wrote about here. You might even show him this entire exchange and say, “I asked about this and was told these things,” then explain the lingering feelings you have.
I think it’s important to determine whether you were being exploited, or whether he simply thought it was acceptable to offer you boyfriend-level terms because you’re such a good match.
Taro
I think it’s up to you to decide which option is better and what will make you happy.
If you’ve been able to maintain that relationship for many years, it may seem unreasonable from a papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) perspective, but from a broader life perspective, it might actually be the healthier relationship.
When money isn’t the main focus, you may be able to build a relationship based on mutual respect and genuine need for each other.
Even if it’s only 30,000 yen a month, isn’t having that much better than having no offers at all?
If you’re getting other offers as well, why not gradually reduce how often you meet this person?
☆When you say staying over every week, do you mean at your place, or at a hotel like the Hilton?
I don’t think it’s harsh.
You’ve written quite a bit, but basically, you just changed your mind, right?
I don’t think three meetings a month is unusual, either.
