My papa is in his mid-50s, and I’m in my late 30s.

Apparently, genetically speaking, the human body—male and female alike—is wired to get bored after about three years. Whether it’s getting into a rut in a normal relationship or after getting married, it all comes from instincts and genetic mechanisms that humans inherited as animals. Men in particular tend to want to pass their genes on to other healthy women. And compared with having sex with their current girlfriend, being with someone new can feel more stimulating and pleasurable. Especially with dating clubs, men can choose from the female members, so if they start thinking, “I’m getting bored—can’t I find someone better in bed?” they can make an offer right away. That makes it easy for women to be replaced once a man gets bored. That said, Fuu has one monthly arrangement that’s lasted the longest—four years now. Everything about her in terms of intimacy is exceptional: her face, figure, body, sensitivity, tightness, and how easily she gets aroused. She’s in a league of her own, and I can’t let her go. However, she’s usually pretty cool, keeps things short, and her LINE messages are extremely brief. Well, nothing in life can be perfect. The other women in my monthly arrangements handle things like fun dinners and being affectionate together at home, haha.

Even though you travel together, only seeing each other once or twice a month suggests that he has probably realized you aren’t satisfied sexually and may not feel much sexual attraction toward you. It also seems quite possible that he is having his sexual needs met by other women. In the first place, a relationship where you only meet once or twice a month is probably close to a casual arrangement with no strings attached—one where it wouldn’t be surprising if he replaced you with another woman or ended things at any time. Unless you meant once or twice a week, perhaps this isn’t a very deep relationship. In a compensated-dating arrangement, unlike romance or marriage—where people eventually grow tired of each other—the ideal relationship is one in which the allowance continues to satisfy both people, deepening their mutual trust, gratitude, sense of security, openness, and shared memories. As a result, their intimacy also deepens over time.

Men’s sex drives can be surprisingly strong, even into their 50s and 60s. In particular, many men who sign up with dating clubs have a strong desire to “stay sexually active forever.” So there’s a chance your papa (a male supporter) may occasionally see other women, but if you can remain truly irreplaceable to him, he may continue giving you the same allowance even if you don’t have sex very often. That said, what concerns me is that you only see each other once or twice a month. I’m sorry to generalize, but at that frequency, I think there’s a high chance he could replace you with someone else. I haven’t heard all the details, so I’m sorry if I’ve completely missed the mark. Still, I think you probably have a general sense of whether you’re truly irreplaceable to him, so please give it some thought.

I’m dealing with a very similar issue. After four years, it starts to feel repetitive and boring. With women I haven’t been seeing for as long, though, I can sometimes make it all the way, so I might end up breaking things off with the former. You need to be careful about whether you’re still enjoying dinner only (no intimacy), or the relationship could suddenly come to an end.