I’m an unremarkable man in my 60s. After dating my current girlfriend a few times, I realized that we weren’t a great match in terms of conversation or sexual compatibility. After a few months, I started thinking about ending things, but I’m timid and couldn’t bring myself to say it properly, so I let it drag on—and now it’s been a year and a half.
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Given my age, I feel my chances of meeting my ideal partner are becoming more limited, and I’d like to meet someone new while I still can. I really want to end this relationship and approach someone else, but I still can’t seem to find the right way to bring it up.
When you break up with someone, when do you usually do it, and how do you explain it so they accept it?
Also, should I give them some money when ending things? I know it’s not the nicest way to put it, but perhaps some kind of “severance payment”?
Cutting off all contact without warning is one option, but I was treated that way once and was hurt for quite a while. She’s a genuinely nice person, and I’d like to end things smoothly without hurting her, but I don’t know how and could really use some advice.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂60s👑Universe male member
What do you think? The woman may be viewing it as more of a transactional relationship than the questioner realizes.
Would it be better to block her without making another date, or tell her you want to end things and then block her?
Even if it hurts, making a clean break lets you recover faster than dragging things out. And she can look for her next papa (a male supporter) sooner too.
It’s amazing that you lasted a year and a half even though you weren’t compatible in terms of an adult relationship (intimate). I’d probably give it two meetings at most, lol.
You were paying her, yet you put up with it for so long.
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Since it’s neither romance nor marriage, there’s no need to officially break up.
You can simply stop seeing each other for a while—or from now on.
Since it’s a mutually beneficial relationship, I don’t think there’s any need to make the ending explicit.
That said, continuing with someone you don’t even like that much, or lacking the judgment to end things, could be seen as a weakness—but it could also be considered a valuable personal trait.
Are you saying you’d rather meet someone from a position of advantage than pursue an unattainable ideal?
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First, you can let go of the idea that you have to find someone else after ending things.
If you absolutely want to wait until after the breakup, or you can’t handle seeing both people at the same time, you could say something like, “I’m going to take a break from seeing you until the end of July,” and stop meeting her. Just give some excuse, like being busy with work, worried your wife might find out, or having to care for a parent.
Once you stop seeing each other, you’ll naturally grow more distant.
She may still message you, though. When you get right down to it, it’s probably because of the allowance.
In that case, just reply with some vague excuse, like saying you’re still busy or your wife is still giving you a hard time.
Hopefully, you’ll find someone good during that time. If not, you can use the break to clear your head and maybe get back together.
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For now, I’d suggest pursuing both options in parallel.
Since you say you have a good personality, I don’t think you should suddenly cut off all contact.
I’m sorry, but while I’ve had arrangements end after a short time, I haven’t had any long-term arrangements end so far...
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Let’s break things off after finding another woman who’s better.
If I were ending things with a woman I’d been seeing for a long time, I’d give her a few hundred thousand yen as a parting thank-you.
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