About people who want to get started before taking a shower
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After taking a shower, I feel like everything is reasonably clean, no matter where you kiss or use your mouth. But there seem to be quite a few people who want to kiss or start undressing before showering or brushing their teeth.
Wouldn’t it be awkward if they smelled sweaty or had toilet paper stuck to them? Do they really not feel that it’s dirty? Am I strange for caring about this?
Naturally, you’d want to shower before getting intimate with someone who might not be very clean.
One way to handle it is to say something cute like, “I want to take a bath together♡”
Avoid giving orders like, “Please shower first,” or “Could you brush your teeth?” They could put him in a bad mood.
Also, saying, “I’m sweaty, so I want to take a shower,” isn’t ideal. Some older men are actually turned on by that sweat, so it could backfire.
So overall, I think asking sweetly is probably the best way to handle it.
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In my private life, I feel like kissing is something you do at karaoke when you’re absolutely wasted. So I’m actually pretty similar to that kind of guy.
Even someone like me knows to be considerate at a dating club, though.
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There will always be people whose hobbies and values are completely opposite to yours.
When you meet someone like that, it may help to accept that people have diverse values and simply choose not to associate with them.
Taking that kind of stance can make you feel more at ease.
You don’t need to wonder, “Is there something wrong with me?”
And you don’t need to think, “Is there something wrong with them?” either.
—It’s me
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Over 20 years ago, when I was a student and living with my girlfriend, things like that happened, but it wasn’t papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). Brushing my teeth and taking a shower come first.
Make sure you tell him upfront that you’re not comfortable unless he brushes his teeth and takes a shower first. Once you agree to it even once, it can become the default, so be careful.
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I’d be concerned about that too. It’s perfectly normal to feel that way.
Especially when the man is the one trying to do it—it’s not appropriate, particularly on a first meeting. Among women, some always shower beforehand, some shower every time, and others only do so when they’ve been sweating.
I shower before a date so I’m prepared either way.
On the first date, if the mood gets heated, it can easily turn into the woman pushing me onto the bed. When that happens, we usually just go with the flow and prioritize the atmosphere, without showering or brushing our teeth. I assume the woman has also judged things like breath and body odor to some extent before letting things proceed that way—but I don’t know for sure…
Also, if we’re going to lick each other in various places, then a shower is necessary. If she hasn’t showered, I won’t do that on my end. As for the woman, it depends on the individual. Some don’t do it regardless of whether they’ve showered.
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I’m not very proactive about kissing, but is it generally expected to brush your teeth first?
Do people who make out in public brush their teeth before kissing too?
Sex can sometimes start spontaneously, but usually I brush my teeth and take a shower beforehand.
As an aside, I make sure no toilet paper is stuck to me before pulling my underwear back up after using the bathroom.
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