It’s been about two months since we met, and we’ve had an adult relationship (intimate) around seven times. We’re also planning to meet again for an adult relationship (intimate) this week. I’ve developed feelings for her, and I started telling her openly that I like her. Last time, for the first time, she told me that she likes me too.

Question

Of course, I assume she may just be saying that to match my feelings, but I’d like to see if this can eventually develop into a relationship. For now, I’ve been actively expressing my feelings and we stay in touch every day. She’s a single mother, while I’m married with children. She also seems to still be doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so I’m thinking of asking whether we could date while continuing to support her. Sorry for the long post, but is there any way to tell whether a woman likes you as a person or as a romantic interest? I’d really appreciate any advice.

Answer 1

There’s no need to distinguish between them if the questioner is looking for this kind of allowance-based arrangement with an adult relationship (intimate) as a given. Conversely, the woman probably doesn’t want to be pressed on that point either. A little ambiguity is just right. That’s genuine advice. Though I doubt you’ll listen to me.

Answer 2

I’m not sure what kind of situation you’re hoping for, but if you want the woman to genuinely like you, I would: - Not tell her that I have feelings for her. - Not be the one to initiate contact or make plans to meet. That way, you can at least see whether she reaches out to you on her own or expresses affection toward you. If you’re always the one initiating contact or showing interest, she can only respond positively, which makes it difficult to judge how she really feels. I think it’s better to have enough composure to take a step back and let her become interested and come after you.

Answer 3

What kind of relationship do you mean by “dating,” as you put it? You ask whether it’s as people or as members of the opposite sex, but I don’t think human feelings can be expressed so simply or reduced to one choice.

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