I’d like to ask for advice about the quality of the men I’ve been meeting.
Recently, I’ve been meeting men through papa-katsu apps and dating clubs other than Universe. (I used to be a Universe member, so I’m familiar with this site.)
However, I often find the men’s behavior seriously lacking.
For example:
- They’re late (suddenly saying on the day that they’ll be 30 minutes late, or messaging exactly at the meeting time to say, “I’m going to be 15 minutes late”)
- They act excessively arrogant
- Some don’t even take care of things like bad breath
- They’re either far too familiar with a woman they’ve just met or flatter her excessively (they’re simply not good with women)
- They’re poor listeners, but talk rapidly and enthusiastically only about themselves—their communication style is just baffling
I had imagined that dating clubs would attract calm, mature, older men with the appeal that comes with age, so the reality has been quite a shock.
Honestly, even if the men I’ve met were making an incredible amount of money, I’m not sure I could respect them as people...
As for me, I don’t think I’m doing particularly badly. I’ve received eight offers in one month through another club, and I’ve never been late or canceled at the last minute. I’ve also recently found one man who can be considered a monthly arrangement.
For context, I joined because I wanted to meet wonderful men and grow as a person.
The self-help and business books I often read say that people who behave in the ways described above are the kind you should avoid. Yet when I actually meet successful people, I find that many of them don’t follow those basic rules at all, which has been bothering me.
I’d love to hear everyone’s opinions.
Thank you.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Member of another dating club
I’m a little puzzled by the way the question is phrased.
Are you talking about the quality of the papas at Universe Club, which also interviews male members? Or are you referring to the quality of papas at other dating clubs, where it’s unclear how they screen people, or at papa-katsu apps where registration is completed online with no interview—a complete free-for-all?
Which one do you mean?
Also, let go of the fantasy that wealthy people are automatically good-natured. Some moderately wealthy people are pushy and self-centered, and there are those who become rich by stepping over others and clawing their way up. Wealth and good character don’t necessarily go hand in hand. Being kind alone won’t make someone rich, either.
If you’re receiving plenty of offers, it seems like the only thing you can do is turn down the papas you don’t like.
Even if you complain that the quality is poor, nothing is going to change...
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Generally speaking, if around 60% of women are considered attractive or popular, only about half or a third as many men would be. So from a woman’s perspective, many men may seem disappointing—or even downright outrageous.
That said, with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), both people tend to be very considerate of each other at first, so it’s probably rare to make a bad impression right away.
It’s also possible to think of the other person as a reflection of yourself. In any situation—even when the other person is clearly at fault—trying to look for the cause within yourself can help bring about better outcomes.
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Likewise, I’ve never been that late, nor have I ever had someone be that late to me.
That’s basic common sense, well before self-improvement or business, so I think you should be more selective about what you read.
By the way, whether you’re talking about “the quality of the men you meet” or “the quality of this year’s new graduates,” I feel that anyone who talks about people that way is being rather arrogant.
Men are also looking at who they’re dealing with when they make an offer. It might be worth considering that if you aren’t receiving offers from the kind of people you want, there may be something about you that needs addressing.
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Neither my monthly arrangement nor I have ever been that late—not once in three years.
I’ve met plenty of male members, but I’ve never come across a single person like that.
Maybe you’re just unlucky—or maybe he can’t find a regular because he’s such a strange male member. Yeah, I’m sure it’s the latter.
Taking care of your breath is important. Brushing your teeth alone isn’t enough. You should be mindful of it throughout the date. A lot of women don’t pay attention to it either.
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