When we arranged our second date, he didn’t bring up the allowance. Should I have asked him about it?
He didn’t mention anything, and I couldn’t bring myself to bring it up either. Since he’s already said he booked a hotel, I assume he’s expecting an adult relationship (intimate).
Is he planning to decide the allowance based on how compatible we are physically?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Women who don’t receive many offers may leave it up to the man and decide based on what he offers later. Others discuss and agree on the amount upfront, while some have a minimum they won’t accept. There are all kinds of approaches.
Go with whatever method you’re comfortable with.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
That’s not what I mean.
I see it as building and enjoying a relationship and companionship—not buying things, products, or services—so I’m simply uncomfortable with compensation coming into the picture upfront.
I want to express genuine gratitude and joy, while also wanting the woman to feel happy.
In romance, marriage, and dating through a club, money may move from the man to the woman in one form or another, but I don’t feel there’s much need to make that explicit. In fact, I feel that leaving it unspoken allows the relationship to develop more naturally into something deeper and lasting, regardless of where you met.
However, as I answered in the previous question, if all I can feel in the relationship is concern about making the woman uneasy, then confirming everything in advance is essential, and I don’t think it would be possible to continue enjoying the relationship itself.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Some women do get an allowance they’re happy with by saying, “I’ll leave it up to you, papa,” but I get the impression they’re few and far between.
I never got anything good out of leaving it up to them.
Even if it feels awkward to bring up, you should always discuss it clearly.
If you continue seeing someone despite feeling uncomfortable, you’ll end up feeling like you’re doing sex work at the expense of yourself, so it’s better to walk away.
There are also papas who offer allowances and still make it possible to have a genuinely enjoyable, natural relationship.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I don’t think deciding the allowance afterward based on what happens is ever good for the woman.
If you’re okay with prioritizing meeting someone even if the allowance is low, that’s fine. But if there’s a minimum amount you won’t compromise on, you should settle it before going to a hotel.
Not agreeing on the allowance is a perfectly valid reason to say you’re not a good fit, so if there’s a gap there, I think it’s fine not to meet.
There was a similar question before, and I feel women often end up stressed when the allowance is decided afterward or based on how much the man can afford.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
There’s no one thing you “should” or “shouldn’t” have done, and no one can say what you should have done differently.
That said, if you understood this to be an allowance-based relationship, I think it would have been reasonable to ask about the allowance.
As for setting the allowance based on chemistry, I wonder what that means exactly—does he assume that good chemistry means you both had a great time, or that poor chemistry means he put you through an unpleasant experience?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
The moment you hear that he’s booked a hotel, you have every right to confirm the allowance.
You should definitely ask him right away by LINE or email. Unless stated otherwise, the amount usually includes transportation costs.
If you’re not satisfied with the amount, it’s best to decline as soon as possible, while you can still cancel. Negotiate—you’re allowed to say what you want.
Papas who decide the allowance afterward based on how well you click during the intimate part are almost always stingy and never any good.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
