I’ve been seeing a woman for over two years, and we recently spent about five days together for the first time. We occasionally stay overnight, but this was our first time spending such a long stretch together.
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We talked about all kinds of things, and she said she wants to get married—not necessarily to me, but to someone if she meets the right person.
I’m almost 50 and married. She seems to want to get married, and even though our relationship is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), she sometimes finds it painful that I’m married.
I feel there are parts of this relationship she can’t simply compartmentalize. I’m thinking I should tell her, “I hope you find a good person. I’ll be rooting for you.”
I suppose it’s about time I started considering ending things. Saying goodbye suddenly would be painful for both of us, but I’m not sure how I should handle this.
I know there isn’t much information here and that ultimately I have to make the decision myself, but I’d appreciate any advice. Thank you.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe male member
If you can feel that he’s developing feelings for you, then you probably shouldn’t spend five nights together.
As the more mature person in this situation, I think you need to consider the future and act accordingly.
At some point, you should tell her that marriage isn’t an option and confirm whether she still wants to continue seeing you.
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I think it’s up to the woman to decide what she wants, so it’s best to leave it to her.
Regardless of whether you’re her papa (a male supporter), if she sees you as someone indispensable in her life, she probably won’t want to end the relationship. If she says something like:
“I don’t need an allowance, but I’d still like you to listen to me and give me advice after I get married,” or “I’d like to keep meeting for meals,”
then I think it would be fine to continue seeing each other casually over meals, regardless of whether you have an adult relationship (intimate) or not.
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Personally, I don’t think there’s anything the questioner needs to decide or do on their own. They should leave everything up to the woman and simply follow her instructions.
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If you have the emotional and financial means, women in their 20s are happy when you pay for a dating app that requires proof of being single, while women in their 30s tend to appreciate having their matchmaking agency fees covered.
If they end up getting married through it, they’ll be grateful to you.
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You already have your answer.
Sooner or later, you’ll probably have to part ways.
If you want to get married—and since women may find it harder to marry if they spend too much time on this—then, for her sake, that’s what should happen.
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