I’ve obtained Japanese citizenship, but I’m originally Zainichi Korean.

If you have Japanese citizenship, a Japanese name, and native-level Japanese, I don’t think you need to go out of your way to mention it. They probably won’t notice.

What’s wrong with being a Korean resident of Japan? There’s no need to share your real name when you’re not planning to get married. That applies even if the person is from another country, not just Japan. It’s strange to discriminate against someone simply because they’re foreign, especially when you’re already an adult university student, both mentally and physically. Is there anything else going on—for example, could you be the one taking action because you’re Korean? My child recently started a business in Korea with people from China, Korea, and Vietnam. They get along and have fun, sometimes argue, and somehow seem to be making it work. Everyone is bound to think differently. I believe you grow and move forward by learning to handle those differences well. Please live with more pride in yourself. Should I tell people from the beginning that I’m a Korean resident of Japan? I’m worried they might dislike me or turn me down. You don’t need to worry about it. But do you really have to tell them everything? Even I think it would be frightening to reveal everything about myself. You also need to consider the possibility of being stalked.

Setting aside immature kids in elementary school, if you were discriminated against even at university, I wonder if there may have been something besides your roots involved. It might be worth thinking about that. Lying and choosing not to say something are two different things. So I don’t think you need to bring up your roots when you first meet someone. Personally, I have no issue with someone having Korean-Japanese roots, but I’m uncomfortable with people who bring it up right from the start.

I don’t think you need to tell them. If you have Japanese nationality and a Japanese surname, then it isn’t really a lie. At first, names are just club names anyway. It’s probably something you reveal one step further down the line, once you’ve become close enough to disclose your real name. “Zainichi” is a postwar term, and some younger people today may not even know what it means. It used to be a much more common concept, so older people might feel a little uneasy about it. But in the end, discrimination between Asians is nothing more than “familiarity breeding contempt”—like complaining that your grandpa’s farts smell. I see it as the kind of argument that only happens because there’s already enough comfort and familiarity to fart in front of each other. It would be nice if we could have relationships like Europeans, where people can tease each other about their national characteristics. I’ve dated a Zainichi woman before. She initially used a Japanese name too, and after we became close, she told me her real surname. After that, she started doing it deliberately—like texting me at four in the morning, “I was hungry, so I went out for some jjigae~,” and I’d reply, “Jjigae first thing in the morning? lol.” Apparently she found it funny, and from then on, whenever she got drunk, she’d keep making jokes about jjigae. It was pretty cute. Looking back, I think I might actually be happier if someone told me something like that after we’d gotten closer, rather than right at the start. Taro