A man who reached out to me through this site and had dinner with me has asked to meet again for an adult relationship. We’ve already agreed on the date and time, but he hasn’t mentioned the allowance. (When we met, I got a good impression of him.)

Personally, I think it’s something you should ask about beforehand. But if you’re okay with a low allowance, I suppose it would be fine to discuss it after being intimate.

It can be pretty tough since it takes courage for a woman to bring it up herself. But rather than leaving it unspoken and feeling frustrated over receiving a very low allowance, it’s better to discuss it openly. Why not try asking, “What are your thoughts on the allowance?” They may tell you what they have in mind, or ask what you’re hoping for. If their terms work for you, that’s fine. If they ask, just clearly tell them what you want. If you can’t come to an agreement, there’s no point in meeting anyway. That’s what I would do.

If you’re willing to accept a lower amount, that’s fine, but if you’re not comfortable with it, I think it’s better to negotiate the terms beforehand. Looking at the questions posted here, it seems that women often feel stressed when the allowance is decided afterward or solely at the man’s discretion. There’s no rule that Black-class members offer higher allowances than Gold-class members, so as others have said, I don’t think you need to worry too much about the class. Among the women I’ve met, there were a few who, when they noticed things they didn’t like even during dinner, would raise their requested allowance with the attitude that they didn’t mind if the man turned them down.

First of all, an allowance is something you discuss and agree on—it isn’t something either side simply dictates. That’s just a matter of nuance. Also, if you get intimate without discussing the allowance beforehand, there’s almost no chance you’ll receive what you were hoping for. If you have a figure in mind, talk about it clearly in advance, and if the terms don’t work, say goodbye. It’s hard to talk about the going rate when no one can see the whole picture, but based on my experience, 50,000 yen seems to be the most common. At the high end, there’s no ceiling. If she’s attractive but not exceptionally so, asking slightly above the going rate—say, 60,000 yen—can boost her pride, so that’s fairly common. Through scouts, 70,000 yen seems common. Truly stunning women get lots of offers, so market forces naturally push the rates up. A nice round 100,000 yen may be where things settle. Of course, some women get even more. At the low end, the range is narrower—probably no more than around 30,000 yen. At other clubs, you usually know the woman’s requested amount before making an offer, and the pressure of not receiving an offer probably keeps things distributed around a reasonable level. At Universe, the parties negotiate directly after meeting, so it seems more likely to turn into a case of “whoever names a price first wins,” which tends to make the market rates more erratic. I was going to tell a story about once turning down a woman who looked like Aimyon after she asked for 100,000 yen, but if I’d been a genuine fan, I probably would have accepted. I wasn’t a fan, though, and at the time I was seeing someone who looked like Yuki Koyanagi (but had the personality of Kamaitachi’s Yamauchi; I have no idea how good she could sing) for 30,000 yen, so I never switched. When you think about it this way, anything is possible depending on a man’s personal tastes, so women might be better off confidently sticking to the amount they want. Taro

If you’re confident in your ability to read people—or won’t regret the outcome of your own choice—you can go ahead without confirming first, then make an overall judgment afterward, including the allowance amount. If that’s not the case, or you’re desperate and there’s a specific amount you absolutely need to receive, confirm the terms in advance. Conversely, the man may also want to adjust the allowance based on his overall impression—for example, one amount if there’s going to be a next time, and another if there isn’t. Well, this is getting interesting. I feel like having the mindset to enjoy this kind of thing is important too. Although your own abilities do play a role in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), in the end, it involves a lot of chance and gambling-like uncertainty. Maybe people who can enjoy that with a huge dopamine rush are well suited for it.

You can only judge based on the impression you got from him. It also depends on what matters most to you: the allowance, the relationship itself, or avoiding stress and feeling burdened. Whether the man is more focused on building a relationship or on an adult relationship (intimate) will also affect how you feel about the arrangement. You won’t know your physical compatibility until after you’ve been intimate. In reality, it’s only afterward that both sides can truly understand their compatibility, needs, and the value of the relationship. If you’re compatible, the two of you may open up and come to understand each other better afterward. However, that doesn’t seem to happen very often.

I think it’s up to you to decide which option is better. I don’t think there’s really such a thing as a standard rate. For example, among the women whose expectations I’ve heard, pay-per-meeting amounts can range anywhere from 0 to 100,000 yen. I also don’t think a woman’s requested allowance has anything to do with her class. It’s actually quite common for women in the Gold class to ask for more than women in the Black class. As for “what if it’s lower than her expectations,” you presumably have your own expectations as well, so I think you should use those as your 기준 and make your own decision.