A question for men who would like to develop a relationship involving intimacy with a woman they’ve only had dinner with once:
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I have my first dinner date coming up soon. If he likes me and the conversation turns in that direction, is it better for the woman to clearly state the amount she expects?
If you’ll regret not asking,
this is a place where money is expected,
so I think it’s better to ask.
If you can accept less than you expected,
you could go ahead and receive the cash afterward.
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Sometimes it’s easier to be direct, and sometimes it isn’t, so I adjust my wording depending on the situation.
If the man asks, “How about this amount?” and I’m okay with it, then that’s fine.
If I’m not satisfied, I tell him clearly.
When I’m asked to name my amount upfront, I tell him how much I’m hoping for.
Then we discuss it from there and come to an agreement.
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If we click, I prefer to ask the woman directly what allowance she has in mind—without making her feel awkward—so it’s actually easier for me when she just tells me plainly.
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I basically always make sure to discuss the allowance.
If you have a specific amount in mind, I’d rather you say so clearly when the subject comes up. I don’t like people keeping quiet and then making a fuss about it later. I also prefer straightforward wording. When someone says something like, “I’d appreciate whatever you feel comfortable giving,” I find it creepy. To me, the allowance is compensation for intimacy, while feelings are shown by wanting to meet again and by being considerate in various ways—not something that can be converted into money.
Also, when it comes to discussing the allowance, I feel like the usual unspoken rule is to let the other person bring it up first. If a woman wants to raise the subject, she might say, “Then let’s definitely do that next time. By the way, what are your thoughts on the allowance?”
But if she goes on to say, “I usually get ◯◯ for an adult relationship and ◯◯ for dinner only,” I’m just like, “Ugh.”
Taro
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Women generally won’t be happy if all a man openly wants is an adult relationship (intimate), and they’ll also be put off if he keeps insisting on the allowance.
A woman who’s popular will usually receive generous, excellent allowances and treatment from her partner without having to ask for them.
For women whose arrangements never last, the first meeting often ends up being their only chance, so I suppose they feel they have no choice but to insist on their terms.
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I think everyone has their own opinion about things.
Personally, I’ve never met a woman who clearly stated an amount without being asked, and I’d probably be taken aback if she did.
I like women who clearly state their desired allowance when asked.
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