She’s a B1 type. In her videos, she clearly said that by the third date, she can decide whether or not to move toward an adult relationship (intimate).
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But things still haven’t progressed. We were supposed to meet for the fifth time, but she emailed me saying, “I’m still not mentally ready, so please meet me for dinner again.” As she had stated publicly, I met her for the third and fourth times as well, but she turned me down both times.
Should I assume this is no longer going anywhere?
I find it strange because she said in her videos that she starts from the third date. Could it be that she’s actually an A type but labels herself B1 just to get more offers?
Or has she simply decided that I’m a creepy old man and she’s not interested in me?
I asked her directly, but she keeps saying, “I’m starting to like you, so I’d like us to get a little closer first.”
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂50s👑Universe male member
When it comes to a B1, a woman’s psychological threshold can vary depending on whether she’s closer to an A, right in the middle of B1, or closer to a C or B2.
I haven’t met the woman in question, so I can’t say for sure, but based on the wording, it sounds difficult.
If you want to avoid an unpleasant experience, I think you’d be better off mainly considering women with a Type C dating profile.
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In your case:
If she’s a B1 type, only make an offer when you like her enough to be willing to wait even five or six meetings.
Showing up without waiting for her decision is basically sabotaging your own chances.
The more you ask, the farther away she’ll get.
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Haha, yeah, he’s creepy, lol.
That said, I’m sure there are women who wouldn’t find him creepy.
Whatever you decide, you’re responsible for your own choice.
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Even if people say you can decide by the third meeting, that’s not an absolute rule.
Conversely, it’s perfectly normal for things to progress from the very first meeting, even with B1 or B2 types.
Ultimately, you’re dealing with a real person, so you can’t deny that every case is different.
If you’re already wondering whether this woman is actually an A-type scammer who’s deceiving you, it might be best to walk away.
If things end without developing into a relationship, the more meetings you’ve had, the more your anger may build until you end up becoming a complainer.
One more piece of advice: if you ask by email whether things can progress next time, realistically, there’s a good chance she’ll turn you down.
In business, I believe negotiations should basically be handled face-to-face, though…
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After reading the question, I thought it was creepy.
If I find it creepy even coming from someone of the same age and gender, it might seem even creepier to someone of the opposite sex who’s much younger or older.
That said, isn’t it perfectly normal to feel “creeped out” when you’re confronted with the desires of someone you have no feelings for? “Creepy” is simply how we describe that reaction.
Personally, I think most people can tell on the spot whether they’d be willing to sleep with someone. If they keep things going after that, it’s probably because they either want to play hard to get, are hesitating over whether they’d be okay sleeping with him for an allowance, or have no intention of sleeping with him but are stringing him along for dinner money.
Those of us who have never actually seen what happens on the date have no way of knowing which it is. The fact that he keeps asking even people who couldn’t possibly know is creepy too.
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You’re interpreting “the third time” differently from each other.
For women: “I’ll decide by the third date whether things will progress.”
For men: “If I wait three dates, progress is guaranteed.”
In your current situation, she met you three times and decided that things wouldn’t progress. That’s exactly what her words meant.
As a basic principle, the decision to take things further—or not—belongs to the woman. It isn’t determined by the dating type.
The official definition of Type D is “proactive.”
(But the woman still has the right to decline an adult relationship.)
If the chemistry isn’t there, things won’t progress even with Type D. That doesn’t make it a dating-type scam.
—It’s me
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To begin with, no woman—including me—is ever going to genuinely fall for a 50-year-old man. Take a look in the mirror.
Tell her, “I’ll pay double, so let me have my way next time,” and if she refuses, look for someone else. There are plenty of others.
If that’s what you were after, then meeting her four times was your own responsibility. Haven’t you been paying 30,000 yen for dinner-only dates? By now, she’s probably written on her private account:
“Another lovesick old man paid 30 today. As if someone as beautiful as me would actually get with some old geezer. He’s starting to annoy me, so I’ll string him along for two more dates, then cut him loose.”
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I can’t comment on her looks, but there’s something a little creepy-old-guy-ish about thinking, “She said in the video that it would be the third time, so I’ll ask beforehand whether we can be intimate every time from the third meeting onward,” and then actually doing it.
And her saying, “I’m starting to develop feelings for you,” is a textbook, ironclad way of turning him down.
I think pretty much everyone would feel that things probably aren’t going to progress.
That said, personally, I think dating clubs are becoming less enjoyable for both sides because people judge each other solely on whether intimacy is going to happen.
Why not ask yourself whether you genuinely want to date this woman as a person? If the answer is yes, perhaps you could wait patiently without pushing. Though, realistically, I imagine that would be difficult.
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