I meet the papas I’ve met here as part of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), but some of them ask me to date them, get overly affectionate, or try to monopolize my days off—they want more than just papa-katsu.

The questioner is probably looking for a transactional relationship. I actually get along better with women who want that kind of relationship. We meet about once a month, starting with dinner and progressing to an adult relationship (intimate). We only use LINE to arrange the next meeting. That said, there are both men and women who want to see the same person frequently. Don’t you think it’s natural for romantic feelings to develop as you spend more time together, regardless of gender or age? Still, there’s no doubt that you and he are simply a mismatch. Once you realize that’s the kind of man he is, you can just end things. I suspect you already know all that, and perhaps you just came here to vent…

Responding as you see it: If someone expects more than papa-katsu, I think you should simply end things with them. One of the good things about papa-katsu is that women get to choose who they see, right? That said, if you make it clear that you’re only interested in satisfying their sexual desires, they’ll just think, “Then they might as well go to a sex service.” So I feel like having a certain persona—or maybe a certain skill—for making them like you without letting them fall seriously in love is what helps make this work. For example, you could be straightforward and easygoing in personality, but amazing in an adult relationship (intimate), or act very much like a couple and stay physically close while you’re together in private, but be totally casual and detached outside. lol That’s just an example from my monthly arrangement, though. lol You have to make the other person happy in a way that makes the allowance worthwhile. Otherwise, from the papa’s perspective, they won’t feel like meeting you regularly. From the way you worded your question, though, I didn’t really sense that kind of consideration.

I’m with Kazu on this one! I think consideration for each other is essential in any relationship. It won’t work if both people only make demands, haha.

That man is being stubborn, and so are you. It seems that both of you have forgotten that a relationship involves another person. If you keep ignoring each other and forcing your own expectations on the other person, I don’t see how you can build a good relationship. I believe romantic feelings arise naturally depending on the relationship you have with someone. Not just romantic feelings—people’s feelings toward one another change according to the relationship as well. Whether it’s a man or a woman, it’s difficult to build a good relationship if you decide what the other person is like based solely on their role and don’t genuinely engage with them as an individual.