My papa (a male supporter) is married, so he’ll only meet me in private rooms at restaurants or in hotels to make absolutely sure his wife never finds out.
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I imagine many papas go on dates out in public, but are they single, or are they simply not hiding the relationship?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Member of another dating club
People’s awareness of—and anxiety about—being recognized varies quite a lot.
Whether a date takes place in public or somewhere private has no direct connection to whether someone is single or married.
Even in a private room, acting secretive can make you look suspicious.
If your behavior and fashion look natural, even a couple with a significant age gap won’t really stand out.
I think you’ll understand if you try observing people from that perspective.
—It’s Me
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I’m married too, so I try not to be seen out and about with someone.
I think it varies depending on each male member’s circumstances, but many married men probably keep a low profile when they’re active in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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I have a friend worth 10 billion yen who gives his wife so much money that he can basically say, “I’m openly allowed to cheat—any objections?” and leave her no room to argue.
He’s like Eiichi Shibusawa on the new 10,000-yen bill: a symbol of money and polygamy.
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A lot of people seem perfectly unfazed by that sort of thing. You see plenty of customers like that at high-end restaurants（笑).
I once saw a man dining at a yakiniku restaurant in Kitashinchi with someone who looked like a “mama” in a kimono. To put it in terms that would be easy for a woman in her twenties to understand, it was like seeing a man having dinner with someone in a Mickey Mouse costume at a Denny’s in Shin-Urayasu. In short, people who don’t care simply don’t care. It’s the people around them who do. That’s just how the world works.
Of course, it depends on the man’s personality and circumstances, so there are certainly men who wouldn’t approve of that kind of thing. Just to be safe, I recommend that you ask the man for his wife’s name. If her name happens to be “Fumiharu” (a pun on Bunshun, the magazine known for exposing scandals), then even the most underhanded cover-up will eventually be exposed and things could get ugly. In that case, I think you’d be better off ending things as soon as possible.
Taro
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Even if you only meet at private rooms in restaurants or hotels, people may still find out if they’re going to find out. There’s no such thing as “absolute” secrecy.
I don’t know what the men who go on dates around town are like. It depends on the person.
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