When I talk to PJs, I hear that a lot of men in Gen Z today would rather spend their money on their hobbies than on their girlfriends. Don’t you think there are quite a few of them?

Men are becoming more passive, and seem less interested in sex these days. Maybe it’s just part of society becoming more diverse—I’m not really sure. But I think it’s a good thing. Young guys can focus more on their hobbies, while we spend money on young women. If this papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) setup becomes even more popular, that means we get to enjoy ourselves more, haha.

My first thought after reading the question was, “Is that really so?” People in their twenties were short on money in our day too. Since it was the bubble era, many adults were living it up, so the gap may have been even wider than it is now. As for the questioner’s drive, I don’t think I had any—at least not to that extent. That’s probably why I wasn’t popular. I went to a modest national university in the countryside, where there were many quiet, serious-minded women. Even when I did something like take a girl out on a date and offered to buy her a coffee, she would often turn me down, saying, “I have no reason to let you treat me, ○○.” Looking back, I think being poor in your twenties is probably the right way to be. I believe it can become a source of motivation. So, I don’t really see a major difference between people in their twenties today and us back then. I think we were just as unreliable—though of course, there are individual differences. However, I do think there’s a major difference between people in their thirties today and people in their thirties back then, including myself. I started my own business at thirty and happened to succeed, partly thanks to luck—not that it was any great success—but people in their thirties today seem far more aggressive and determined to carve out their own destinies. Personally, I also think that the number of people in their thirties who aren’t bound by conventional values is one of the differences between their generation and ours.

Men in their 20s are broke, prioritize their own hobbies, and are generally poor and lacking in confidence. The ones who are confident often become delusional guys working as hosts or underground male idols. A lot of unmarried men in their 30s are narcissists who love themselves and want to cycle through women without spending money on them. There are various reasons for this, but it would take too long to explain. You might find books by Masahiro Yamada or Kazuhisa Arakawa through a search useful, as well as Kai Nishii’s *Men’s Studies Starting from Being Unpopular with Women*. That’s why young women who do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) generally don’t expect much from men their own age. But that doesn’t mean they’ll go for just any older man—once you narrow it down to someone who has money, is clean and well-groomed, looks reasonably good, and doesn’t hit on them too aggressively, there really aren’t that many left.

These days, doesn’t everyone kill time by looking at their phones? I think it’s because there are more things you can enjoy alone—or that are actually more fun by yourself. I also think the growing emphasis on gender equality and gender neutrality has something to do with it.

I don’t think this is limited to Gen Z. More and more parents are choosing not to spend money on their children’s education, even though they can afford it. Yet at the same time, they demand free education because they claim they can’t raise their children with peace of mind. I believe that, having been raised by parents like that, more men are growing up unwilling to spend money on women.