In the previous question, many people answered that women shouldn’t mention seeing other men out of consideration. But what about men?
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I’ve always told the women I dated that I was seeing multiple people. Some became jealous and tried harder, while others told me all sorts of things about the men they were seeing or had seen in the past.
But when it comes to being considerate, would it be better to say, “You’re the only one,” and date her that way?
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe male member
I think it’s too simplistic to say that not admitting you’re seeing multiple people means saying, “You’re the only one.”
And I don’t think “kindness” is the right word either. If I had to call it something, I’d say hesitation. Kindness and hesitation are different.
If you tell someone “You’re the only one” when there are others, that’s a lie, isn’t it? You can’t build a relationship with someone important to you on lies—that’s wrong. But even someone who believes that may hesitate and think, “Still, saying this honestly would be a bit much.” They search for that borderline position: not a lie from their perspective, but not exactly the truth either. I think that’s the feeling behind it.
Taro
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I think it really depends on the person—what they think and what they place importance on.
Personally, at this point, I don’t see much value in paying an allowance for dinner dates or an adult relationship (intimate). What I value is the relationship itself.
Everyone values different things and places weight on different aspects, so what each person is looking for will vary as well.
I also think that the appeal and advantage of a dating club is that it makes these arrangements possible simply, without all the unnecessary complications.
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Even at an escort club where seeing multiple partners is understood to be acceptable, whether you should tell someone about it depends on the relationship and the situation.
What matters most is how the person you tell will feel.
Unless they ask, it’s safest not to bring it up.
If they do ask, read the situation based on her personality, her eyes, and her tone of voice, and give the best answer you can.
As long as she doesn’t feel uncomfortable or uneasy, there’s no wrong answer.
That said, whether you tell her “You’re the only one” or admit that you’re seeing multiple partners, when you’re together, make sure there’s absolutely no sign of other women.
I’m an idiot, so I really messed up there.
— It’s me
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I don’t think there’s any one right answer.
Kindness means different things to different people.
Personally, I’m not trying to play games or negotiate—I find it easier and less hassle to just be myself and speak openly.
Since this is a dating club, I think you should date someone whose preferences and personality align with yours.
If you enjoy playing games, I think you’d have more fun doing it somewhere without an allowance involved. Isn’t a dating club, in a sense, the ultimate way to skip all the games?
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