I’ve been seeing my papa (a male supporter) for about two and a half years, and we’re still so close that we meet at least once a week—almost like a real couple.

Maybe he’s worried about his breath. Or perhaps he feels embarrassed? Still, he seems several steps better than those overconfident older guys who completely misread the situation.

Isn’t it actually pretty hard to look at someone while they’re resting their head on your arm? When you’re cuddled up close, their face ends up around your deltoid, so the distance is too close to really see their face. She might be able to look up at you from her side, but from the man’s perspective, it’s actually a pretty difficult position to see her from. I’ve even had a woman try to braid my armpit hair while we were talking, so I suppose women can do all sorts of things just by shifting their bodies a little. But from the man’s side, it can be pretty awkward. And to see her face, I’d have to reposition both her body and mine, so unless there were a really good reason, I’d hesitate to do that. So I don’t think you need to worry about it at all. That said, if it bothers you, it’s probably better to bring it up and engage with him about it. I think those feelings are important, and since they aren’t necessary while you’re putting on a romantic act, sharing them makes it clear that they’re genuine. It may not be part of some perfectly smooth script, but I do think that getting a little tangled up in conversations like this can leave a stronger impression and deepen your feelings for each other. I think the reason it can be difficult to say goodbye to a woman you’ve been seeing for a long time is that the emotional bond hasn’t deepened enough to match the length of the relationship. If it’s only physical, things deteriorate over the years. Habit and familiarity from seeing each other for a long time aren’t enough to compete with that. Feelings echo, so if you express what you’re feeling to a man, it comes back amplified. I’m not denying the value of a smooth, mutually understood arrangement, but I think things like this are actually pretty important. Taro

How should I know? If you two are close like a couple, ask your papa (a male supporter).

If you both finish and drift into that post-release daze, I don’t think there’s any need to look at her face. Especially if you’re satisfied, you probably don’t need to. You might even feel that it would be rude to look at her while she’s sweaty and dazed. And if she simply falls asleep, the man can just go to sleep as well. If this has continued once a week for more than two and a half years, the chances of “release” often fade over time. If it’s been that way since the early days, there’s even less reason to worry about it. As a man, there’s nothing wrong with letting her fall asleep for an hour or two. So rather than worrying about it, I think you—and the person asking the question—should simply finish comfortably and fall asleep.

I don’t think there’s any particular intention behind what he does during his post-intimacy clarity. It’s probably not that he turns away because, subconsciously, he doesn’t see her as his main partner. I get the impression he’s simply staring into space like a sage. Besides, is there even such a thing as a “main” partner in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)? I’m not really sure. There may be women he clicks with, and he might prioritize them based on their schedules, but I don’t think there’s any qualitative difference among the women he meets—some being his “main” and others not.

You say there’s a risk of being dropped when the relationship continues for a long time, but generally speaking, I think the risk actually decreases the longer it lasts. I don’t know whether it happens because you’re not his main partner or anything like that. He may simply be concerned about his breath after going down on you.