To the female member who was forced into anal••••

Good evening. I’m a female member who turned 50 last week. I read through your post and question carefully, in order. When I was in my twenties, a boyfriend once told me, “I want to insert it bare because I feel like it would satisfy my desire to dominate.” I ended the relationship—not only because of the risk of STIs, but also because I felt a deep sense of humiliation. I can only imagine how serious the physical and emotional damage you suffered must be. How have you been feeling since then? I hope you’ve seen a doctor and that your injuries and stomach problems are getting even a little better… I imagine you’ve been introduced to an attorney familiar with sexual crimes against women and are discussing the matter with them. However, there are a few things that concern me, so I wanted to mention them. The fact that you work for a company with an occupational physician who may also hold a clinical psychologist’s qualification suggests that it is a reasonably large company—possibly even a well-known one. I assume you joined the dating club for some reason, and while your attorney certainly has a duty of confidentiality, I feel there may be certain things you need to bear in mind precisely because this attorney was “introduced by your company.” Those are: 1. The fact that you joined—or had joined—the dating club, regardless of the reason or circumstances 2. The fact that money was exchanged as a result This is only my personal opinion, but if you consult the attorney, I feel it may be better not to mention that you joined the dating club or that money changed hands. You’re still in your thirties, and considering the long life ahead of you, I think you should proceed especially carefully because this is such a sensitive matter. You seem like a very sensible person, so please feel free to take this as nothing more than unsolicited advice from an older woman. But when you consider your valuable career and the long life ahead of you, I fully understand your anger and frustration. Even so, I recommend thinking very carefully so that you won’t look back later and regret it, wondering whether this was something you should have taken to your grave. I also believe that the other respondents are taking time out of their busy schedules to answer from the perspective of people with more life experience, without receiving anything in return. Some responses may contain harsh opinions or things that upset you. Everyone has different ways of thinking and different views on life. It’s only natural for there to be a variety of opinions. And since we’re all human, people’s answers may sometimes be influenced by stress from work, family, or private life, or by how they happen to be feeling physically or emotionally at the time. You seem like a very serious-minded person, but perhaps it’s best not to take everything too heavily. Take in the answers you find helpful, and let the others pass by without dwelling on them. Physical wounds may heal with time, but caring for your emotional well-being is extremely important too. I recommend speaking with a mental health specialist at least once. I say this because even now, about 25 years later, I still remember what happened and feel uncomfortable whenever someone tries to insert from behind. I returned to our Tokyo headquarters in January, and my work has become busy. Since I can’t travel to regional areas frequently, I plan to tell the man I’ve been seeing and leave the club. I know this may be difficult for you, but I sincerely recommend making your decision and seeking advice carefully. I’m truly sorry for being so intrusive. I hope the long life ahead of you will be meaningful and fulfilling.