I’m the papa-katsu girl who previously asked about not receiving my allowance. We have a monthly arrangement, and he always paid in cash upfront, so I felt reassured. Since carrying around cash can be risky, he had been asking since our last meeting if a bank transfer would be okay, which gave me a bad feeling.

Even a verbal promise constitutes a legally binding contract, so I think you should make a claim for payment. Wanting to have the upper hand in a relationship is only human, so you could say the questioner is being perfectly human. Regardless of whether it was a relationship between a man and a woman, I too wanted to have the upper hand at work and came up with all sorts of schemes to make that happen. However, my modest life lesson is that relationships like that ultimately don’t last, and in the long run, I usually end up losing more than I gain. That said, it’s not easy to simply accept everything the other person wants, either. You’ll have to figure that part out through trial and error. Instead of asking nothing but questions, it’s about time you started using your own brain.

A guy’s pointless follow-up texts are annoying. Though if it was a message about scheduling, then it’s your fault for not replying. ① You should probably ask him to pay. Even if you’re going to cut ties, an agreement is still an agreement, even with payment afterward. A guy who skips out on payment is pathetic. If you don’t ask, you’ll just lose the money—and the relationship will end anyway. ② Turn the power dynamic around. If you have the guy’s personal information, you could make him realize, within legal bounds, that refusing to pay would cause him trouble. Maybe it really is better to marry a wealthy boyfriend after all.

① I don’t think anyone can really tell you whether you should ask for it or not. Real life isn’t a game, so there’s no predetermined right answer or walkthrough. You think for yourself, make your own choices, and learn from the results—that’s what real life is all about. ② The idea is for the woman to be in a position where she can walk away at any time, while making the man feel that he doesn’t want to break up with her and mustn’t let her go. Exactly how to do that depends on each man’s preferences, lifestyle, and situation with other women. But honestly, if you keep posting a string of questions this basic, I think it’s almost impossible to change your current situation. First, you need to think things through yourself, try different approaches, and grow through trial and error. Men can pay a setting fee and essentially buy the opportunity to learn through trial and error. By increasing the allowance, they can also get away with pushing things a little. And since money is something the giver chooses to give to the recipient, reversing the power dynamic in a relationship involving an allowance is extremely difficult. So the simplest way for you to at least bring the relationship closer to equal, even if you can’t completely reverse the power dynamic, is to stop needing an allowance from that man. That’s what I meant when I initially wrote, “I think you’d be better off switching to a boyfriend who’s capable of supporting your living expenses.”