I’d appreciate hearing everyone’s thoughts.

It’s entirely possible for a man to want to support a woman even if he has no trouble meeting women. As people get older, they often develop a stronger desire to support younger people—whether men of the same sex or juniors. If what he wants to support feels unrelated to the club itself, the club makes it easier to openly and comfortably give financial support, so the relationship can move forward even without an adult relationship (intimate). Normally, offering financial support requires a great deal of tact. But within a club, it can simply be given as an allowance. There are all kinds of people in clubs. What they seek and prioritize varies from person to person. For some, an adult relationship (intimate) is the priority. For others, it’s physical compatibility, conversation, or the relationship itself. When it comes to providing support, I think the connection and relationship between the two people are what matter most. In that case, it’s a relationship that could be built even outside a club. However, thanks to the club, he can consistently offer financial support, allowing the relationship to deepen more directly and wholeheartedly than it might through other ways of meeting. Even with a wife, parent, child, or other family member, people have to be careful when it comes to money. But in a club setting, it’s always smooth for a man to provide financial support to a woman. In the questioner’s case, although the relationship is quite similar to an ordinary one, the financial support made possible by the club is such a pleasantly surprising benefit that it probably stirs his emotions deeply. From the man’s perspective, being able to support such a wonderful woman financially and build a relationship in which he can continue to be there for her is more gratifying than the usual straightforward arrangement of an adult relationship (intimate) and an allowance.

In my case, I can’t imagine being involved with someone through a dating club without an intimate relationship, but I suppose people like that might exist（笑） ① Would it be a nuisance if I developed romantic feelings for a man who is genuinely supporting me? I don’t think it would necessarily bother him, but he might be put off if you get too close… ② From the supporter’s perspective, do they provide this kind of support because they have at least some feelings for the woman? I’m sure they do genuinely want to support her. Whether that counts as “liking” her is debatable, but I think it’s safe to assume they have some degree of affection for her. ③ He’s in his 40s and apparently has no trouble with women. In my case, I was also in my 40s and had no trouble with women, but because I had no emotional capacity to devote to anyone else due to personal and family matters, I don’t really understand the feelings of a papa (a male supporter) who joins a dating club. ④ If he’s telling you that, is he trying to keep you at a distance? Who knows? It could be taken that way, or he might simply be stating the current situation.

There was a woman who started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) to escape her toxic parents. Eventually, she grew tired of papa-katsu and, wanting true happiness, met someone through a marriage-oriented dating app and got engaged. The man was kind and trustworthy, and she told him everything about her toxic parents and her past in papa-katsu. Apparently, he told her, “I’ll accept every part of you.” She cut ties with her parents, sent goodbye messages to all her papas (male supporters), and began living with him. That’s when everything suddenly changed, and the abuse began. In addition to hitting and kicking her, he subjected her to psychological abuse, constantly blaming her for having done papa-katsu in the past. She had nowhere to escape to. She had trusted him and deliberately cut off every possible way out. He put GPS tracking on her phone and checked her LINE chat history every morning and evening. He probably wanted a vulnerable slave with no way to escape. The lesson here is: “The real devil comes disguised as an angel.” Please remember that. By the way, I’m an angel disguised as a devil, so I rescued her, took her to the police, and arranged for a lawyer. I had a feeling something was wrong, so I checked in on her—and sure enough, she sent me an SOS.

Once you’re over 40, you start to understand what you can’t do yourself anymore and where you can’t give your energy, which makes you want to support young people who are working hard—or young people striving in an industry you care about. I can see why it might be confusing these days, with relationship clubs being the point of entry and the ways people date becoming increasingly standardized. But originally, relationship clubs leave it up to the people involved to decide how they pursue the relationship after meeting. To avoid regrets in life, I think it’s perfectly fine to follow your feelings. That said, there’s one thing to keep in mind. We tend to think our feelings come purely from within, but there’s a concept called cognitive dissonance theory. In this case: ① you’re receiving an allowance, and ② there’s no intimate relationship, so you feel like you’re not giving anything in return. You’re feeling uncomfortable and conflicted about those two things. To resolve that discomfort, you may be unconsciously rationalizing it by telling yourself, “It’s because I like this man.” If that’s the case, you’ll probably end up suddenly feeling turned off, so just keep that in mind. I agree with Joe: whether you like him or not is a separate issue. For now, I think you should focus—no, charge full speed ahead—toward your dream. There’s a famous quote by professional wrestler Keiji Muto: “Keiji Muto will charge ahead more and more!” It’s known as his “declaration of charging full speed ahead,” and that’s probably what you need here. Declare that you’re charging full speed ahead! lol

You seem to feel guilty about receiving support from your papa (a male supporter), but what he wants is to see you achieve your dream—including everything that happens along the way. So, putting it bluntly, rather than spending time feeling guilty, shouldn’t you be moving full steam ahead toward your dream? This is a somewhat different field, but I once had ties to an organization that brought together angel investors. What surprised me was how many people wanted to invest in young people’s dreams. Of course, those providing the money expect something in return, but quite a few are also motivated by wanting to see an appealing dream become a reality. Your papa may be one of those people. The question is what happens if you develop feelings for him. Honestly, I can’t say whether that would be a good thing or a bad thing. Romantic feelings aren’t easy to control, and you’ll probably find yourself agonizing over it, but for now, why not make achieving your dream your top priority? That may well be what your papa wants most, too.

It may be that he’s trying to set things up so he can have sex with you for free in the future. Back when I used to visit sex workers, I heard this was a technique men used when they wanted to persuade a worker to go on an outside date with them. They would go into a hotel, but instead of doing the usual things, they’d spend the whole time just talking. The idea was to make her develop romantic feelings and then enter into an adult relationship (intimate), allowing him to have sex—including finishing inside—without paying. This feels like a similar strategy to me. As you understand, a man offers a high allowance because he expects something substantial in return. Personally, I think you should be very cautious when seeing someone who tries unusual tactics like this. Don’t let your guard down too easily.

If a man has more money than he knows what to do with, I think it’s definitely possible. I’ve had the intimate part end before, but for it to have never been there from the beginning is pretty remarkable. Maybe he really enjoys talking with you. If she showed affection toward me, I’d probably increase the allowance—but if things are fine as they are, I’d leave them that way. P.S. When you quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), you have to take the fact that you did it to your grave without telling anyone. Miu-chan has been doing this for four years. If he helps fund her marriage search, she might find a boyfriend and get married. It’s impressive that she hasn’t told anyone about her four years of papa-katsu.