Does a date between an older man and a younger woman look funny to people watching from the outside?
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I was having dinner with a man in his late 40s when four people around my age at the next table kept staring at us and trying not to laugh. When I looked back at them, one of them actually burst out laughing.
I knew they probably assumed it was papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), but has anyone else ever been laughed at like that? How did you feel about it?
Some people may laugh at you, but if you worry about that, you won’t be able to make any money, so I guess it can’t be helped.
For example, AV actresses run the risk of being recognized, but I hear they used to make especially good money. I think it’s kind of the same idea.
That said, people’s reactions vary.
My papa has a very intimidating, quasi-criminal look, so people may sneak a glance, but they quickly look away… He’s honestly scary enough that I wouldn’t want to get involved with him if I met him normally, lol. So no one really laughs at us.
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I don’t think I’ve ever been openly stared at or clearly laughed at, but I don’t think people will pay much attention if you choose a restaurant and outfit that fit the atmosphere.
In my case, there’s a more than 40-year age gap, so we obviously look like an unusual pair. But when someone says, “You two look so perfect together! (laughs),” I end up thinking, “Maybe we do?” and can only give an embarrassed laugh. (laughs)
Well, maybe we look like something beyond papa-katsu—a mysterious kind of relationship. (laughs)
Next time, why not suggest the restaurant and outfit yourself?
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I’m Paper Airplane, and I’m starting to think that, given my age, people might see me that way soon.
Even so, there are usually plenty of possibilities: they could be family, a boss and subordinate, clients and coworkers, an uncle and niece, having an affair, talking things over, meeting for a meal, and so on. Unless something feels really off, I don’t think people around you pay much attention to other people’s business.
Especially for people who have never even imagined papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), it wouldn’t be on their radar at all… so I don’t think they’d give it a second thought.
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I’ve actually gone over to a table like that and said, “You’ve been staring at me and my daughter for a while. Is there something you want?” I’m serious. They just looked down and stayed quiet.
Forget papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)—that’s rude on a basic human level, isn’t it? When someone treats you disrespectfully, you can’t just sit there silently. And that 40-something guy didn’t do anything? What a pathetic excuse for a man. She should dump him already.
If someone passes you without signaling, speed up, pass them back, then hit the brakes to intimidate them. That’s how men of the Showa era roll, lol.
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I’ve never been laughed at. The person I’ve been seeing the longest happens to be exactly 10 years older than me, though.
Even when people saw women in their 20s or 30s walking arm in arm with men in their 70s or 80s, no one around them seemed to pay much attention.
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It means that not many people are accepting of relationships between men and women with a large age gap.
For example, if you’re dressed up for a date at an expensive restaurant, it’s only natural that people around you might find it a little odd.
If they assume you’re parent and child, though, there’s nothing strange about the two of you having a meal together.
So I feel that choosing somewhere not too upscale and dressing casually would make it less likely that people will laugh or stare.
Personally, though, I can’t be bothered to overthink it, so my basic pattern is a private-room meal followed by sex at a hotel.
I’ve never noticed anyone laughing at us.
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I suppose it’s entertaining for people who are vulgar and have nothing better to do. Maybe they can’t enjoy themselves unless they make the people sitting nearby the subject of conversation.
Like Flag-san, I’m careful too, so I’ve never been laughed at.
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I’ve never been laughed at. That’s because I’m careful—for both my sake and the woman’s—so we don’t stand out.
If we’re dressed like a stereotypical papa-katsu date, we go somewhere it wouldn’t seem out of place to see a couple like that. If it’s a casual restaurant without private rooms and mostly young people, we both dress casually and keep things relaxed.
But if the man’s overall vibe makes it impossible to disguise what’s going on, then we’ll just choose a hotel restaurant or somewhere else that works for that kind of date.
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