In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), when things turn adult, I feel like we weren’t compatible if I can’t bring my PJ to climax. Am I looking at it the wrong way?
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Do PJs actually reach climax consistently?
Maybe I’m just inexperienced, but I can’t get about one in every two to climax.
👤Asked byGuest👤GenderNot stated🎂50s👑Universe male member
The first requirement for reaching orgasm is being relaxed (said with a smug look).
Even women who can usually climax may not be able to when they’re tense.
As an aside, I can climax 100% of the time during sex with my regular papa (a male supporter), but not at all with my boyfriend.
Compared with the papa I’ve been seeing for nearly seven years, I’m probably still more nervous with my boyfriend.
Another aside: From a woman’s perspective, sexual compatibility is usually poor at first.
Some women do feel an immediate connection, but that’s generally limited to cases where the man is incredibly kind and wonderful, handsome, exactly their type, exceptionally skilled—which is extremely rare—or the woman herself views sex more like a sport.
This is just my personal opinion, so I can’t guarantee it, but I hope it helps.
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Is sex really just about making your partner climax?
Maybe all you do is finger her. Please stop roughly rubbing or poking with your fingers—it hurts, and I bleed.
Anyone who just shoves their fingers in is terrible at it, so I pretend to climax and try to end things quickly.
So I think all the women your partners have been with are probably pretending to climax. They all seem to be very good at acting.
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The answers seem to be getting a little heated… lol
“Coming” varies quite a bit from woman to woman, and it also depends on her own criteria for deciding whether she has, so it’s not really a reliable indicator. I once kept going while thinking, “Wow, that’s quite a reaction,” as she was trembling violently and occasionally rolling her eyes back—only for her to suddenly say, “I’m coming~” after quite a while. I couldn’t help joking, “You hadn’t yet?!” That was the first time I’d made a joke while still going at it, and I’m still grateful for the truly valuable experience.
Putting that aside, if we define it more abstractly as “we both managed to enjoy ourselves,” then the questioner’s estimate of around half matches my own impression. That ratio hasn’t changed over the years. Maybe it’s because as your skills improve, your standards rise too. In any case, I feel that “about half are hits” is a fairly accurate benchmark.
Sometimes, after meeting around three times, a woman relaxes and suddenly becomes much more responsive, so it’s best not to make up your mind based on the first meeting alone. Conversely, someone may seem promising at first but show no further improvement. The number of women I ultimately want to keep seeing long-term is probably less than half of that 50%—around 20%. And the truly great ones are probably about half of that again.
That’s the report from the field.
Taro
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Where do you get the impression that a woman has climaxed?
Surely you’re not counting it as making her climax just because she says she did.
It’s pretty common for women to pretend when they want things to end quickly.
Personally, I think the fact that many women don’t tell men when something hurts because they’re trying to be considerate is what creates men who misunderstand the situation…
I hope you’re not one of those misguided men.
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Whether she climaxes after one or two times having sex isn’t really the point. A woman who can climax will do so with a toy or her own fingers anyway—it depends on the woman.
The real sense of accomplishment comes from being there when a woman who never knew what an orgasm felt like experiences her first vaginal orgasm.
What you should enjoy isn’t just that moment, but the transformation and the whole process leading up to it—for those of us who enjoy nurturing someone.
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I don’t think that’s quite right.
In my opinion, men who are overly fixated on making a woman climax are often ≒ bad at sex.
But it may already be too late. There are so many men obsessed with making women climax that I feel many women pretend to climax just because “that fingering hurts” or “I wish he’d hurry up and finish.”
The most difficult pairing is a man who isn’t fixated on making her climax versus a woman who pretends to climax repeatedly. It makes for a pretty awkward atmosphere.
Personally, I think sex should simply follow the woman’s physical condition, mood, and level of excitement.
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Personally, I think “physical compatibility” refers to things like body type and the size or shape of one’s genitals, while “sexual compatibility” refers to compatibility in terms of sexual preferences.
So whether someone climaxes probably isn’t determined by compatibility alone; in fact, I think compatibility accounts for only a small part of it. You yourself seem to be dismissing the idea that it’s a compatibility issue by wondering whether your technique may simply be lacking.
Every woman is different in terms of what feels good and how easily she can climax, and I think it can also vary depending on her physical condition and mood at the time.
Also, women who know what helps them climax seem to be able to guide things in a way that makes it easier for them. Don’t men also figure out what works for them? At the very least, I know what helps me reach ejaculation more easily.
If a man is inexperienced and has a limited range of approaches, he may be unable to figure out what a woman likes and adjust accordingly, leading him to think they’re simply incompatible.
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