I went on my first date with a man who had approached me. He was a very nice person, but he made quite a bit of noise while eating.
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I just can’t stand people who chew loudly or have strong body odor.
Since I’m looking for a long-term arrangement, I care more about personality and character than appearance. It’s truly unfortunate, but I feel I have no choice but to turn him down.
He seemed to like me very much and said he hoped we could continue seeing each other for a long time.
I told him I’d left my planner at home and would get back to him later.
What reason could I give for turning him down without hurting his feelings?
And for everyone else here, is there anything you just can’t tolerate on a physical or instinctive level when seeing someone?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂30s👑Universe female member
Speaking as the man, I’ll usually suggest a date through social media once, but if I don’t get a reply, I leave it at that.
There are also plenty of women who say they’ll get in touch but never do. I assume they might be busy or simply not want to meet, so I don’t pursue it. Whether I leave things alone for a month or two, if they need to, they’ll contact me. I can just respond normally if they do.
If someone keeps asking why I haven’t contacted them and it becomes a hassle, it’s fine to block them. You don’t need to explain why you’re declining or why you don’t want to meet, nor do you need to explicitly end the arrangement.
Simply don’t meet in person, and block them if necessary rather than dealing with the hassle on social media. That’s more than enough.
If you don’t meet in person, it’s just a loose connection that will naturally fade away.
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I’m not fond of noisy eaters either. Once you start noticing it, you hear it even more（笑). Since they do it unconsciously, telling them usually doesn’t make it go away. Apparently, there can be several causes, such as their bite or mouth-breathing, so even figuring out the cause can be difficult. Unless you’re particularly attached to them, ending things is probably the right call.
There are some things you just can’t tolerate on a gut level. Recently, I met a woman whose laugh sounded like Muttley from *Wacky Races*. Everything else about her was great, but I just couldn’t get past that one thing. I think being on the same wavelength means being able to laugh at the same things, but every time we did, Muttley would make an appearance...
I’m ashamed that I didn’t know how to tell her, in a tactful yet constructive way that encouraged her to change, “Please do something about that laugh.”
Though, if being embarrassed is enough to make someone change, I suppose I should start by changing my poop icon〜
Taro
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I don’t like blackened socks or dirty, smelly feet, but lately, what I’ve found viscerally unbearable is my own behavior.
Without realizing it, I had been thinking, acting, and speaking in ways that I personally couldn’t stand. When I noticed that, I realized I couldn’t stand myself. Since then, I’ve been living without forcing myself to be someone I’m not.
Anyway, you’re saying you want to cut things off before it develops into a relationship. Simply going silent or leaving their messages unread is fine.
Being cut off before a relationship begins only leaves a minor scratch.
On the other hand, being dumped after things have continued for a certain length of time can be a fatal wound, so please be more careful about that. This is a request to all the women out there.
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People who chew loudly
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Maybe you could try changing the way you see each other!
If you prioritize personality and character over looks, there’s no need to eat together.
Well, it really comes down to how much you can each tolerate, haha.
In my case, there’s nothing that bothers me on a visceral level. Still, as the relationship goes on, I sometimes think, “Isn’t this enough already?” But as long as she says, “I want to keep this going,” and needs me as her papa, I take the attitude of, “She’s treating me seriously, so I suppose it’s fine!”
My living situation will change next spring, so I’m actually the one wondering whether everything will be okay. But she’s highly motivated, which is a bit of a handful, haha.
I think a simple “I’m sorry” is perfectly fine when turning someone down.
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I think you should generally just decline, but if the money or other terms are good, you could try correcting him.
You could write, “I’m willing to meet if you think you can fix the noises you make while eating. Sorry.”
If he gets angry and turns it back on you, then he’s clearly not worth dealing with.
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