When meeting men through places like Universe and being intimate with them, some will agree beforehand to use a condom, but then, once things get started, say things like:
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“I can’t finish if I wear one,” or
“I’ve had a vasectomy, so you’re fine, right?”
Others will quietly take the condom off partway through.
Is it because they look down on the women they’re with? Even though they agreed to use one, do they just think, “It feels better without one, and I can treat this woman carelessly anyway”?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
Unfortunately, I think your concern is justified.
I recommend forgetting about a man like that as soon as possible and moving on.
This is just my personal opinion, but I don’t consider a man who prioritizes his own momentary pleasure and fails to consider the risks to the woman he’s with a gentleman.
Saying things like “You can just take medicine if you get an STD” or “I’ll give you money for the morning-after pill” is like trying to slap away the problem with a wad of cash.
Taking antibiotics repeatedly can sometimes cause allergic reactions.
Incidentally, this is based on personal experience: I developed an allergy to quinolone antibiotics while being treated for rhinitis.
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I also prefer not to use condoms, but if we’ve agreed to use one, I would never take it off partway through.
It’s not that I treat my partner carelessly—it simply feels better without one, and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found myself losing my erection more often.
In exchange, I add the cost of medication plus a little extra to the allowance, and if she isn’t comfortable with that, I don’t pressure her.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but as far as I’m concerned, we’re seeing each other with mutual consent.
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Looking at the feedback from the past, I do think men like that exist.
That said, there are also male members who participate in the club in a proper manner—though I’m not sure “healthy” is the right word. I hope you’ll firmly refuse any bad members and make sure to leave thorough feedback.
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Your assumption is probably correct.
Speaking from a man’s perspective, he may not intend to look down on women, but it’s perfectly understandable that you took it that way. In short, he’s prioritizing his own pleasure. The biggest reason he doesn’t want to use one is probably the pressure that he might lose his erection partway through. It’s troubling, especially when so many men are using performance-enhancing drugs. I have no authority to do so, but let me apologize on behalf of men anyway. I’m sorry.
As a woman, the best thing you can do is firmly require him to use a condom, and refuse outright if he won’t. Please stick to the attitude that if you don’t like something, you don’t have to accept it. Though perhaps even saying it this way is already rather male-minded.
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