I’ve met this papa about five times now, and every time we meet, he asks why I do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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I usually answer that it’s because I’m feeling frustrated, but I’m worried that, sooner or later, he’ll suggest meeting without an allowance.
The honest answer is that I’m doing it for the money, but what would men like to hear in response?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
If you’re working, your base salary may be low, you may want to buy something, or you may have student loans to repay. If you say it’s for financial reasons, they probably won’t ask any further, right?
Since you end up saying you’re sexually frustrated, is that some kind of role-play? Hearing that, doesn’t your papa get excited? LOL
My monthly arrangement partners didn’t ask me—I never brought it up. They told me on their own that one was repaying student loans and the other was using it to supplement their living expenses.
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I personally think “frustrated” is the best answer—the questioner already suggested it. The older guys will love it.
If you’re worried about sounding like you’re offering it for free, say, “I’m soaking wet down there, but my wallet is bone-dry.”
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I think it varies from person to person.
When I sense that someone is lying to me, everything they say starts to feel like a lie, and I lose interest. So honestly, I find women more likable when they’re upfront—even if they’re being honest because they want money to spend.
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Even if your goal is ultimately money, wouldn’t it sound better to say:
“Rather than wanting clothes or a designer handbag, I’m saving money to help rebuild my parents’ home as a way of giving back for everything they’ve done for me.”
What do you think?
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As a way to make money, you turn anything that can be monetized into cash while you still can. papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is simply one of those ways—nothing more and nothing less.
In reality, many men either don’t understand this basic idea, don’t want to understand it, or can’t accept it. If a papa (a male supporter) asks, “Why do you do papa-katsu?” he’s that type.
So, basically, you just need to give him an answer he’ll enjoy hearing.
Something like, “I can do papa-katsu because it’s with you. I don’t think I could do it with anyone else,” would probably be the best response.
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Here’s a useful tip.
Saying “I’m doing this for the money” can come across badly, but saying “I need the money” makes people think, “I want to help somehow.”
The key is to use the passive voice rather than the active voice. Put simply, it’s not your own choice—you’re reluctantly doing it because circumstances have left you no other option.
Come to think of it, English also uses the passive voice a lot when speaking politely. Maybe it’s fairly universal.
Your partner may be trying to negotiate the allowance down, or they may genuinely want to build a proper relationship with you. That’s why they ask about your motivation. If they keep asking, it may be because you’re giving a different answer each time. Of course, they might hear that you need money and say something like, “I’ll give you what you need, but you have to see only me.” If that happens, there are ways to deal with it—just ask here again.
Taro
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Thanks for your question. I’ll answer as Maezawa as well.
> What would make a man happy to hear as an answer?
Something like “Because you’re wonderful,” “Because I enjoy talking with you,” or “Because I feel comfortable when I’m with you” should be fine.
“I’m sexually frustrated” might actually be a pretty good answer too.
> I’m worried that if I give that kind of answer, he’ll eventually ask to meet without an allowance.
I think people like that would bring it up around the second or third meeting. So if you’ve met more than that and they still haven’t said anything, I think you’re probably fine.
Men understand that money is involved, but they still don’t want to feel like it’s only about the money. That’s probably why they end up asking what other reasons you have.
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