About a Christmas gift:

I don’t really think you should never ask for things. As Mr. Maezawa pointed out, if he’s not the type to give gifts and you suddenly say, “I want this,” it could come across as begging. But some men genuinely want to make you happy by giving you presents, so if he asks, I think it’s perfectly fine to honestly tell him what you’d like. That said, when it comes to bags, they can easily cost ¥400,000–¥500,000 or more, so I’d want to feel out what kind of budget he has in mind while asking. I’m basically the type of person who likes giving Christmas presents, so I thought about what would make it easy for him to ask. For example, if he said, “I want both a bag and a wallet— which one do you think would be better?” that would make it easy to guide him toward an answer that fits the budget I had in mind. Also, I think this is important: men tend to view presents as an investment. Since it’s basically the same as giving a large sum of money upfront, they may become very worried if your attitude changes after they give you a present—they might wonder whether they were somehow tricked. So if you receive a present or get your allowance upfront in one lump sum, try being more attentive with your messages, meeting more often, and being especially kind… Make him feel that giving you the present was worth it. I’m sure that would make many men happy. I hope you receive a wonderful present.

Thank you for your question. I’ll answer as Maezawa as well. > Through the questions and answers, I’ve learned that as a PJ, you shouldn’t ask for things. I agree that you shouldn’t directly ask for things. To me, “asking” means saying something like, “I want this—buy it for me,” when the other person hasn’t said anything. However, if Christmas is approaching, or even at another time, and the man asks, “What would you like? I’ll buy you a present,” then he’s asking you a question, so I think it’s fine to tell him what you want. That said, the way you phrase it matters. You could simply ask, “How much were you thinking of spending?” But if you feel he might dislike being asked that directly, you could say something like: “〇〇 might be too expensive, right? I like △ and ◇, too, but honestly, anything would be fine.” That way, you mention a few things you’d like but leave the final choice up to him. If what you want is over his budget, he’ll probably choose something within the budget he inferred from your suggestions. If it’s within his budget, you might even receive exactly what you asked for. I’m not sure where the figure of 10,000 yen came from this time. If you were the one who mentioned wanting something around 10,000 yen, I’m not sure what he thought, but he may have wondered, “Huh? Is the price the answer?” Since you’ve already said it, though, I think it’s best not to say anything more until he asks again. Even if you want him to read between the lines, unless you’ve normally said things like, “I’m working hard because I want this,” or “I’m saving up to buy this,” he doesn’t really have any clues to go on. So you may simply end up with something worth around 10,000 yen. Of course, it also depends on his financial situation. If you consider the present something that was never guaranteed in the first place, there’s no need to worry too much. You could give up on it this year and start thinking now about how to respond if he asks again next year. As I may have mentioned before, the basic approach is to subtly let him know that there’s something you want, as long as it’s within his means—but never explicitly ask him to buy it. If he likes you, he’ll naturally want to give you something you’ve been wanting. So it’s important to consider whether you’ve been behaving in a way that makes him like you, and whether you’ve clearly communicated what you want. And rather than merely mentioning it verbally, it’s important to have him go look at it with you. You can come up with plenty of reasons, such as saying it’s difficult to go alone or that you’d like him to see the actual item with you. If he still doesn’t buy it, then either it was beyond his means or he simply doesn’t like you that much yet. Your life isn’t ending this year, so keep doing your best.

That’s right. If a papa is from the upper class, he can find as many female companions as he wants. I think the most important thing is to keep going, so try not to be swayed by gifts in the moment.

I’m Hizu Arata, a male member. Do you feel like there’s some sort of “proper path” to being a PJ? You see posts online portraying a sparkly PJ lifestyle, but they may be intended to sell information products, satisfy the poster’s vanity, or serve some other agenda. Try not to be too swayed by other people’s intentions or ulterior motives. Since you wanted a gift, I think you should simply be glad that you took action in your own way. Ultimately, this is about your relationship with one particular man. Your options will depend on what kind of relationship you want to build with him. You could have the gift’s value deducted from your allowance, accept it simply as a gift, or even change your mind and tell him that you no longer want it after all. Think for yourself, learn through both failures and successes, and hopefully you’ll be able to build the kind of relationship you want.

Oh, here we go again—another question asking people to “judge” the situation. In my answer to another question the other day, I said, “If there are 100 people, there are 100 different sets of values.” Is something right or wrong? If there are 100 papa–PJ pairs, then there are 100 different versions of what’s “right.” Someone else rather harshly called them a “by-the-manual” type of person, but if they can’t make their own decisions about what to do without some guideline, someone else telling them, or something posted online, that’s rather sad as a human being. Human beings are creatures driven by subjectivity and emotion.

> Is it right for a PJ not to say what she really thinks out of consideration? As long as it stays within the scope of club dating, women won’t ask for anything themselves, and they won’t give gifts beyond the allowance. If you can’t speak honestly, then that’s simply the kind of relationship you have. > Should I ask for more expensive gifts? If you have a relationship where you can ask for anything without worrying, beyond the usual boundaries of club dating, then you can freely say what you want, and she’ll give you the gifts you’re looking for.

It reminded me of the term “manual-minded person,” which you don’t hear much anymore. It’s nonsense.