I find life much harder when things are gender-equal. I feel that women are better protected and life is much easier under the mindset of male dominance.
Thanks to meeting wealthy men through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I now have nothing but complaints even when I have a boyfriend. In fact, I sometimes think I might be happier marrying one of the single men I’ve met through papa-katsu.
When my boyfriend and I started talking about marriage, he said we would split living expenses 70/30. I know that’s considered normal nowadays, but when I hear stories from older generations, I often hear that even if the wife worked, she was free to spend her own income.
There may be many reasons—such as there being better men my age, or those men treating me casually because I’m not good enough for them. But I feel that even wealthy single men outside of papa-katsu probably want to have sex while spending as little money as possible.
Sometimes I wonder whether men who are poor and looking to get married are simply more likely to have ulterior motives, or whether single men my age are so financially stretched that they can barely support themselves.
I know this is probably just the difference between the Showa and Reiwa eras, but I can’t help thinking that women may have found life easier during the Showa era, when male dominance was much stronger.
Honestly, the biggest downside of papa-katsu for me is that I can’t find a boyfriend my own age. Even when I do, I feel like I can’t love him.
When I say male dominance, I don’t necessarily mean it in a negative way. The men I meet through papa-katsu give me an allowance and treat me very courteously. They naturally take the lead, which makes them seem very masculine to me. Rather, because the man takes the dominant role, it feels like the woman is protected.
With single men, whether they’re serious or just looking for something casual is important. Assuming they’re serious, though, they often don’t have much financial leeway to begin with, and they seem to view marriage as having a housekeeper while splitting the living expenses.
I feel that’s one of the downsides of gender equality. Since men and women are equal, they expect to split the bill, but still want intimacy, and it seems unlikely that they’ll spend much money on you in the first place.
Of course, I realize there are probably some perfect men out there, and maybe I just haven’t met them—or I’m not at a level where I can meet them!
Is the way I feel strange?
I find myself liking papa-katsu men more than I like being with a boyfriend my own age—because they protect me and have that masculine quality.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I think it depends on what the person asking the question wants.
You don’t necessarily have to limit yourself to men your own age. Another option is marrying a man from the papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) generation. Wealthy people have their own struggles too, of course—it’s not all roses—but not having to worry about money is certainly an advantage. You might even inherit a substantial amount someday…
There are probably plenty of female rivals for wealthy men your own age. So another approach would be to find someone your age who isn’t wealthy yet but has potential and might become rich in the future. The question is whether you can put up with the early period when he doesn’t have much money. It’s a gamble, though.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
> Is my perspective unreasonable?
Yes, it is. Your premise is fundamentally flawed.
The fact that men in what’s considered the “ideal marriage age” lack financial leeway isn’t because of gender equality or anything like that. It’s a structural problem in society: non-regular employment continues to increase, while real wages for working people continue to decline.
The idea that under a male-dominated society, women are treated kindly by men and never have to worry about money, but under gender equality, couples have to split their living expenses after marriage—that’s an incredibly simplistic way of looking at things.
> I think the biggest drawback of papa-katsu
> is that I can’t find a boyfriend my own age.
> Even when I do, I feel like I can’t love him.
If you consider it a drawback, I recommend quitting papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). If you want to continue but eliminate the drawbacks, that’s incredibly presumptuous.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I grew up during a time when male chauvinism was still very much alive. I was always told things like, “You’re a girl,” or “How dare you, just because you’re a girl?” But once I went to an all-girls’ middle and high school, being surrounded by girls made things much easier.
I have a job where, as a woman, I can earn just as much as a man if I work hard. There’s no mandatory retirement age, so I can keep working as long as I’m healthy. One of my close golf friends—a woman slightly younger than me—is in a similar situation, although she works in a different field. Neither of us relies on men, but we both have boyfriends who are several times wealthier than we are.
If I had to spend my life as a housewife in a male-dominated society, managing the household on my husband’s income with no freedom of my own and giving birth to seven or eight children, I think I’d go crazy.
Also, when you’re young, men your own age can seem unreliable. But none of today’s wealthy papas were rich from the very beginning. Some of them have wives who stood by them through the difficult years.
It all comes down to whether you have a good eye for people.
Marika
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
You shouldn’t worry about what other people think.
That said, women who prefer older men because they find men their own age unreliable have probably been around since the Showa era.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
That’s the difference between a papa (a male supporter) and a woman doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
Our circumstances are completely different, so you can’t really compare the two.
I’m married, but my wife is very protective of what she considers her share—or property, I suppose. On top of that, she believes men are unnecessary, so what am I supposed to do? (lol)
Of course I’m kind to women doing papa-katsu.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
