I’ve been doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for about six months now.

Ahh… I wish papas would just stop giving gifts. I can’t help but feel that this is going to leave a bad taste for both of you. If you don’t agree on the budget and other details beforehand, you might end up thinking, “I could’ve gotten something much better,” or the papa might feel, “I gave her something this nice,” leaving bad feelings behind. Ask your papa what he’d like, and tell him what you want as well. Feel each other out and work out roughly how much you’re both willing to spend. I hope everything goes smoothly.

I do think you should confirm the details properly in the end, but: 1. I assume he wants to give you a present sometime around Christmas, though I’m not sure exactly when. Giving it on Christmas Eve, for example, could increase the risk of his family finding out, so it would probably be sometime shortly before or after. 2. As for a present, it’s perfectly fine for you to simply receive one. Men may also have trouble taking something home, so perhaps just a small gesture—or some light chocolates or cookies—would be best. Something worth around ¥1,000–¥2,000, really. Hand cream could also be a good option. I hope you get a lovely present. Good luck!

My hunch You don’t need to keep your schedule open around Christmas. But if he seems like the type who enjoys events, it might be a good idea to ask him now, “Should I keep December 22, 23, 24, or 25 open?” As for a gift from the woman, something in the ¥2,000–¥10,000 range should be fine. Personally, I’d ask for cosplay or a massage rather than a physical gift.

Thanks for your question. I’ll answer as well. Saying “I’m planning to prepare something” rather than “I’ll give you a present” is pretty vague. It’s hard to say at this point, but it could depend on how expensive a gift you’re expecting. He may lose interest if it’s too expensive, but decide to prepare something if it’s within his budget. It might have been better to simply keep the conversation lively. If you had reacted with exaggerated excitement, he might have become more motivated to prepare something and decided he wanted to give you a gift. For now, he may just be feeling things out, so you could try to gauge how serious he is through your conversations. I hadn’t thought of asking for a gift exchange, but some people might do that. It may be a good idea to prepare something worth a few thousand yen to around ¥10,000. The reason I suggest that range is that he may ultimately not prepare anything. Even if there’s no exchange, you probably won’t feel too disappointed about spending that much. I also don’t think the exact price matters much to him—the thought is what counts. Whether it’s cheap or expensive isn’t really the point. It’s nice when someone takes the time to choose and give you a thoughtful present. Even if he has prepared something and there’s a big difference in price, I don’t think you need to worry about it. There may occasionally be greedy men who expect a gift of equal value, but I think they’re simply misunderstanding the nature of things. Men like that should probably be exchanging gifts with a regular girlfriend, not someone they meet through a dating club. > Does that mean I should keep my schedule open around Christmas? Regardless of whether there’s a gift involved, I think he probably intends to see you around Christmas. It might be best to casually find out during the conversation which day he has in mind. Generally, Christmas Eve night is probably already booked, so they may meet during the day on the 24th, or on the 23rd or 22nd—slightly off the usual timing. But that depends on the nature of your relationship. > What would be a reasonable budget for the gift? What’s reasonable varies from person to person. You should think about how much you could spend and still feel that it was worth giving, even if you didn’t receive anything in return. For you, I thought a few thousand yen to around ¥10,000 might be appropriate, but some people might feel comfortable spending ¥20,000–¥50,000, or even over ¥100,000. Everyone’s feelings are different. That said, considering his income, even something that seems quite expensive to you may be something he could buy for himself anytime. So I think you should choose a budget you can afford, then consider what gift would best express your feelings within that range.

> Does this mean I should keep my schedule open around Christmas? Usually, people tend to avoid making plans because they spend that time with their partner or family. If a woman doesn’t have a partner, she may meet her papa (a male supporter), and some girls may say this to hint at that. > Or does it mean they want to exchange Christmas gifts? Normally, I don’t think it’s common to exchange gifts; the papa usually just gives one. Even when gifts are exchanged, I feel there’s often a ten- to hundredfold difference in value—for example, a watch and some cookies.

You can’t know what a stranger is thinking. I think it’s best to ask them directly.