I have a question about allowances.

With adult relationships (intimate) at 2–3, do you feel like you’re being told that you have no value, while getting 5 means your value has been recognized? I honestly don’t understand what you mean. What standard or basis determines whether you have value based on the difference between 2–3 and 5? On top of that, you claim your own subjective opinion while also saying you’re “looking up the going rate online.” That’s contradictory. You have no consistent 기준—you’re all over the place. If you yourself believe you’re a woman worth 5 for an adult relationship (intimate), then all you have to do is tell the other person that. Also, you mention being “kept for a long time,” but when accepting an offer, you can clearly tell the club, “I’d like to finish at this time that day.” The club will make sure the man who made the offer is informed. I’ve experienced this myself, so I know that’s how it works. If a papa (a male supporter) still tries to keep you there beyond that time, that’s absolutely something worth reporting. Going back to your original point, does it really matter how much other members are receiving for adult relationships (intimate)? Why worry about other people’s arrangements? What do you want? What do you want men to do for you? Is “I” the subject of your thinking? Questions are fine, but first, you need to properly face your own inner voice and the cries of your heart.

Why talk about negotiation tactics or quitting altogether? Why not just continue with 3? Even if you feel your looks—or whatever—are the issue, there are still papas who will offer 3, right? It would be a shame to quit. There are women who register but never receive any offers. Learn to be content with what you have. Isn’t that good enough? If you can’t reach your target amount, why not increase the number of papas you see?

People are people. If you want a higher allowance, you can simply ask the next person you meet for the amount you’re hoping for. However, even if someone agrees to a higher allowance for just one meeting, they may decide not to see you again. So perhaps the smartest approach is to wait until things have continued for a few meetings, then end things with the two or three people you’re currently seeing.

Neither men nor women would do it unless they felt it was necessary, and I don’t think it’s a world that just anyone should enter. If you can get by without entering it, I think it’s best to stay away. But if you do feel the need, few things can fulfill your wishes as much as this. Once you start worrying about other people or the amount of your allowance, it becomes more like a money-making job rather than simply papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). You start calculating everything first, and you can no longer enjoy it wholeheartedly. Before you know it, papa-katsu can turn into something painful that you simply endure. If you can continue to enjoy it naturally while feeling the benefits of earning money, then I think you should continue, too.

It’s probably best not to ask for an unrealistically high amount. More importantly, I think you should find out whether he’s willing to continue seeing you. Isn’t a one-off arrangement a little too disappointing? I think it’s better to view the amount offered as a reflection of how he values you. Then, while maintaining ongoing arrangements, you can gradually move toward men who offer a higher allowance. That is, if they keep coming back, haha.

Thanks for the question. Maezawa here with an answer as well. > An adult relationship for ¥50,000, or dinner for ¥10,000–¥20,000 I think you should consider those two options separately. If you meet a man for an adult relationship for ¥50,000 and then say, “If we’re also going out for dinner, I’d like an additional ¥10,000,” I think most men would decide they don’t want to see you again. Dinner for ¥10,000–¥20,000 is for women who only do dinner (though I assume they have the looks to command that amount), or it refers to the first meeting. With Universe Club, the rules state that the man gives the woman ¥5,000–¥10,000 at the first dinner, so you should be receiving money for the meal. (It’s officially described as transportation expenses.) If you don’t want to accept anything less than ¥50,000 for an adult relationship afterward, you should say from the beginning that you’re hoping for ¥50,000. If he says that’s not possible, accept that and leave after dinner only. If he doesn’t give you the ¥5,000–¥10,000, he’s violating the rules, so tell him that the club rules say you’re supposed to receive it. If you receive ¥50,000 the first time, you can probably expect the same amount from the second meeting onward. However, few men consider dinner to be a separate allowance after the first meeting, so I think it’s better to regard the allowance as covering the entire date, including dinner. If you want to go straight to a hotel instead, you could give him a plausible reason in advance, such as saying that you don’t eat much and would prefer to go straight to the hotel. Personally, though, I believe a relationship without dinner is basically compensated dating and is different from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). I think it’s better to enjoy dates that include dinner, since you can also listen to what the other person has to say. (Of course, what kind of relationship you want is entirely up to you.) > I’ve only just realized that I was practically selling my body for free, and I’m panicking. I don’t really understand how receiving ¥20,000–¥30,000 could feel like “practically free,” but many men seem to think that ¥20,000–¥30,000 is the right amount if they’re simply paying for someone’s body. (I hear there are also plenty of people on apps who offer only ¥10,000–¥20,000.) That’s not what this is supposed to be. I believe allowances of ¥50,000, ¥70,000, or ¥100,000 are paid for companionship that involves more than just the body. I think you should think a little more about what men are looking for when they join a dating club. Some men may register with the same mindset they have on dating apps or casual dating sites, but I think most of them are looking for something different. > What should I do? If a bag from some fast-fashion brand cost ¥1 million, no one would buy it. But if it were Hermès, there would be people willing to pay ¥1 million. Just like they do with bags, men unconsciously calculate a woman’s value. Your man decided that you weren’t worth the compensation he would have to pay. In other words, you simply need to increase your value until you’re worth as much as Hermès. Why can a Birkin sell for ¥1 million? It’s not only because it uses high-quality leather and is handmade by skilled artisans. Even if the same materials were used and the same artisans made it, it couldn’t sell for ¥1 million if it weren’t Hermès. Hermès doesn’t have sales, produces everything in-house, and doesn’t release outlet products. By limiting production so much that customers may have to wait a year after placing an order, they create scarcity and value. Even the same item can have a different value depending on how it’s marketed. A woman’s value can also be raised considerably depending on how she presents and markets herself. That concludes the Hermès lesson. Did that get the point across? Incidentally, the Yves Saint Laurent lesson goes like this: If you become fixated on short-term profits and sell something important too cheaply, you end up lowering its value. Whether you’re treated like a towel or like something meant to last a lifetime is up to you.

I’ve been doing this with an adult relationship (intimate) for about four years, and I don’t give an allowance for meals either. I’ve never paid a travel allowance, either. You don’t need to make a big deal out of “learning how to negotiate,” and I don’t think you need to quit, either. If you want five, just tell them next time that your allowance is five. More importantly, it sounds like your brain is leaking, so you should probably do something about that first. Take care.