I was invited to a second date after our first meeting, but I couldn’t see myself pursuing a relationship, so I turned him down by saying that work had suddenly gotten really busy.
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He then messaged me: “Why? I want you to tell me the real reason. I’ve never been rejected before.”
This is just my personal impression, but his clothes were flashy, he wore a very conspicuous necklace, and his cologne was overpowering. I also don’t like the kind of cars he’s into—Rolls-Royces and Bentleys—and I especially wouldn’t want to ride in a Rolls-Royce. Would it be okay to tell him honestly that these are the reasons?
I’m afraid that if I block him without saying anything, he’ll hold a grudge against me.
To begin with, why did you exchange LINE contact information with someone like that?
If I were in your position, I’d either refuse to exchange contact details or, if the situation made it impossible to refuse, exchange them for the time being and block him immediately after the first exchange.
As dateyume says, no matter how much money someone has, a creepy person is still creepy, and there are definitely people you’re simply not compatible with on a visceral level. Unlike women, male members don’t have interview videos uploaded, so you only get extremely limited information about them. Before agreeing to a date, make sure you have a backup plan in place in case you end up dealing with a man you would never want to see again, no matter how much money he offered.
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Unless you’ve already told him details like your home address or workplace, there’s no need to do anything more. Since you’ve already turned him down, I think it’s fine to just block him.
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As Joe suggested, you could say something like, “I don’t think our values are compatible,” or “We come from completely different worlds, so I don’t think we’d have much to talk about.”
It’s not exactly a lie, either.
Of course, it would be great if you could simply stick with “I’m busy with work,” but if they ask to meet even briefly, it would seem strange not to be able to find time for even one meal. So I think using wording like the above could work well.
And if they still keep pressing you, why not just copy and send Joe’s example message—the honest version, that is?! LOL
No guarantees.
Marika
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I’d normally answer this kind of question with “I’ll leave that up to you,” but this time I wanted to dig deeper into what your papa meant by “I want you to tell me the truth,” so please allow me to offer my thoughts.
I’m sure you’ve already sensed this, but there seems to be a huge gap between the “truth” your papa wants to know and what you consider to be the “truth.”
So if you replied:
“Fine, I’ll tell you what I really think, so clean out your ears and listen carefully! Your taste is awful, seriously—your car, everything. That flashy gold chain, that awful-smelling cologne… and, to top it all off, that open-collar shirt. I don’t want to see your chest hair. If you’re going to expose something, expose your dick! It’s probably small and dirty, though. Anyway, goodbye.”
he might not only be so shocked that he takes to his bed—he might also lash out at you.
Blocking him and ignoring him wouldn’t be a bad idea (it’s better for both of you), but I think you could also reply just once, wrapping your true feelings in a lot of softening language. Personally, I think the key phrases are “You’re too good for me” and “Our values don’t match.”
Embarrassingly, I’ve received emails containing those exact phrases twice myself (sob).
One more thing: I don’t know how old your papa is, but considering he’s old enough to be sending you a pathetic, brain-dead message like “I want you to tell me the truth,” he may send another one saying, “I’ll change—I’ll become as refined as Michiyo Aratama.” If that happens, I think you can block him immediately.
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Thank you for your question. I’ll answer as well.
As for “why,” you already told them, “Work has suddenly gotten really busy lately,” so I feel it’s a little strange for them to keep asking why.
And in response to “I want you to tell me the truth,” it seems like you could simply say, “That is the truth.” I’m not sure what the problem is.
In the first place, if you’ve told them, “I’ve never been dumped before,” it makes me wonder whether you may have said something else to them as well.
If you haven’t said anything else, then I think it’s enough to say:
“I’m really sorry, but I’ve genuinely become too busy lately.”
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You can just say, “Work suddenly got really busy lately.”
Men on dating clubs are used to being turned down anyway（笑）
They have to be the kind of men who don’t let that discourage them and keep making bold offers! Otherwise, they wouldn’t last in a dating club（笑）
Just think about it.
It’s a young woman and an old guy.
No matter how much money he has, creepy is creepy, right?（笑）
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