This is about money.

Mizuse from Universe Club’s Osaka branch here. Is it okay to ask, “Lunch sounds good, but what are your terms?” → Since terms are essential when doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I don’t think there’s any problem with asking. If things lead to a hotel, how should I bring up the subject of money? → I think it would be best to simply ask, “In that case, how much allowance were you thinking?” There’s no point in putting off discussing the terms, so rather than being vague, you should clearly communicate them to the gentleman. (That said, if you’re delaying the conversation because you think you might continue seeing him even if the allowance is somewhat lower, then that’s a different story…) I hope this helps.

Dating is about mutual goodwill and mutual appreciation, so I think it’s best to leave it up to them. In your case, when you want to discuss the terms of the arrangement, I think it would be best to bring them up somewhat modestly. There should be men who agree with them. Many men probably don’t like women bringing up the terms, but I think you’ll feel more at ease if you don’t worry about it too much and date men who are a good fit for you.

I’ve never seen or spoken with you, but like me—gray-haired, an old guy, and not exactly handsome—you seem pretty confident and admirably straightforward about pursuing relationships（笑） Since dating clubs involve relationships with an allowance, I think it’s important to clearly state the terms. If a male member is comfortable with the terms presented, the relationship can begin; if they don’t match, it simply won’t work out. The only difference is whether the man or the woman presents those terms first. I’m pretty old-school, so if the terms aren’t what I decided on from the start, it’s probably not for me. I get the impression you feel the same way, and I think that’s perfectly fine. That said, I imagine many men would prefer to avoid making pointless offers, so it’s essential to have the terms clearly stated in the staff comments or elsewhere before making an offer.

Salaries for office workers vary widely as well. Even if we assume a monthly salary of 300,000 yen, it’s highly likely that most people would say it’s difficult to receive that amount from a single man. It’s quite common to have trouble finding a partner when you’re still holding on to a particularly good past experience. I think you probably understand, to some extent, that telling potential partners your terms in terms of an office worker’s monthly salary can be off-putting. I’d recommend not focusing too much on getting all your support from one man. If you think in terms of receiving a total of 300,000 yen per month from two or three people, it seems like an attractive woman could receive that kind of support without too much difficulty.

I think there are broadly two ways people build relationships: some try to manipulate the other person by lying to get the outcome they want, while others just show up as themselves and think, “If we’re not compatible, it can’t be helped.” Of course, that doesn’t mean the former are necessarily malicious, or that the latter don’t care about how they say things. Both are genuinely trying to build a good relationship with the other person. But fundamentally, they’re different. I think it’s important to really consider which type of person you are. I’m the latter type, and so are the people I become close with. That doesn’t mean the former type is completely hopeless. In a way, their formula is easier to understand, so if you want to build a good relationship, you can. You can think, “This is probably how they’re trying to deceive me, so if I react this way, they’ll be pleased.” If the other person is appealing, I’ll play along with the game; if I don’t like them, I’ll throw in some noise and confuse them lol. Sorry if that makes me sound like a bad person（笑） So, assuming you’re going to be yourself, here’s my advice: It’s perfectly fine to mention your previous papa. However, a monthly arrangement is generally a high hurdle, so I think it’s better to show that you’re also open to a pay-per-meeting arrangement if that leads to seeing each other again. As for the amount, it’s a good idea to decide in advance on two figures: your desired amount, and the amount you’d be willing to compromise to if he’s a good person. There is indeed the issue of the allowance if you continue meeting just for meals. Normally, I think it would be the same 1 as the first time. If someone asks for 2, I can’t help thinking, “Are you trying to make money just by having dinner?” That’s how I see it, anyway. But everyone’s different, so if that’s what the woman wants, she should say so. Because otherwise, deep down, she doesn’t really want to meet, right? For the latter type I mentioned at the beginning, being honest is the right thing to do. After that, it’s just a matter of how you phrase it. The fact that you feel uncomfortable discussing the allowance is actually very important, so please value that feeling. I’d already be wondering whether things are okay if you’re exchanging messages like sending a price list over LINE. The nuance doesn’t come across, does it? It’s no different from a sex-work website saying, “Anal sex costs an extra 10,000 yen.” If you haven’t decided on the terms for meeting a second time, then you may have no choice but to discuss it over LINE, but I think you should communicate while honestly conveying that sense of discomfort. At the same time, it would be good to see whether the other person shares the same feelings. Taro

If there’s an amount you absolutely won’t compromise on, but the papa can’t afford it, and the gap is significant, then no matter how much time you spend, it simply won’t work. You should tell him sooner rather than later. End things decisively and wait until you receive an offer from someone who can pay what you’re looking for. When updating your profile with the staff, let them know how much you previously received on a monthly arrangement. The exact amount won’t be posted on your profile, but they may add a note such as, “She previously received a substantial allowance on a monthly arrangement,” so you may be screened before offers are sent. You’ll probably receive fewer offers, though.

It’s a tricky one… but if it were me, I’d say, “I’ll leave it up to you, [Name]!” The reason is that I’m the type who does better when I leave things up to my papa (a male supporter), since I don’t like bringing up money myself. It’s not necessarily something I’d recommend, though. Also, telling a man how much you used to receive can leave a bad impression. At the very least, it won’t improve his impression of you. So saying, “How much would the allowance be per meeting?” is fine, but I think it’s best to avoid saying, “I used to receive this much, so I’d like ¥X.”

No. Since meetings through an escort club are based on receiving an allowance, I think it’s better to discuss the allowance from the start. Personally, I don’t like women who beat around the bush when it comes to the allowance—they’re too much trouble. If you’re looking for an ambiguous relationship, I think you’re better off looking somewhere other than an escort club.

Thank you for your question. Maezawa here. > “Would it be okay to ask, ‘Lunch sounds good, but what are your terms?’” It’s not really a matter of whether it’s right or wrong. If your terms are non-negotiable, then I think you need to ask. And if your terms don’t work for him, it’s only natural for him to decline and for things to end there. If you have no intention of lowering your requested allowance, you should be upfront about that. That said, if you’re confident that he’ll come to like you as you grow closer, then when he says, “Let’s go to lunch,” you could ask, “Would the terms be the same as last time?” If you received ¥10,000 last time, he’ll probably come prepared to give you ¥10,000 again. That way, you can continue your lunch-only relationship at ¥10,000 while gradually getting him to develop feelings for you. He might even offer a monthly arrangement paid upfront when he invites you to a hotel. And even if it doesn’t go that far, he may continue giving you the same ¥10,000 allowance while buying you the things you want. I think it’s important to carefully consider what you can do to make that happen. Of course, if things are going to progress to a hotel, it’s perfectly reasonable to ask, “How much allowance would I receive?” If his offer differs from what you had in mind, then it’s understandable to end things there. By the way, you also need to develop the skill of estimating how financially well-off he is from what he wears and what he says in conversation. You can’t expect a high allowance from someone without money, so that’s the first thing you should check. There’s even an old saying that goes something like this: “What do you look at when you’re sizing up a man? Armani and Gucci? Sure, those are fine. Cartier, Bulgari, Rolex? Those can be indicators too. But the most important thing to check is his car key. From there, his income, real estate, and stock holdings gradually reveal his financial power.” That kind of point seems worth making. Of course, sometimes people see a pin showing that he owns a racehorse registered with the Japan Racing Association and mistakenly assume he’s wealthier than he really is…