I’m going on a trip to Hawaii with a single papa I’ve been seeing for the past six months. It’s a nine-day, seven-night trip in business class, and he’ll be covering all the travel expenses, including the hotel.

Thank you for your question. Maezawa here as well. I think the part where you say, “I want to avoid ending things with this papa,” is especially difficult. Some men may naturally feel that no allowance is needed because the trip itself is a gift. Others may view the trip as one package and think that since you’ve been receiving ¥80,000 per meeting, ¥80,000 for the entire trip is only fair. If your expectations differ from his, there is a possibility he may end the arrangement. However, if you didn’t have to worry about that, I feel it would be reasonable to ask for the equivalent of one meeting’s allowance per night—¥80,000 × seven nights, or ¥560,000. That said, since you’re worried about being cut off, perhaps something like: “I’d like to receive my usual pay-per-meeting amount for each night, but I’ll leave it up to you. I’m okay with whatever you feel is appropriate.” might work. Also, just as the term “Narita divorce” became popular in the past, traveling together may actually increase the chances of a breakup. So I think how close the two of you have become through your relationship so far is also important.

This may not be much help, but— I recently flew from Haneda to France. It’s a little embarrassing, but here were the terms: 1. We met and parted ways in Paris 2. The allowance covered the four days we spent together 3. Round-trip airfare (Los Angeles–Paris via London) She lives in Los Angeles, so—business class, with tears in my eyes. My own trip lasted two weeks. When we parted ways in Paris, I gave her €1,000 for souvenirs. Reading your question, I thought, “There’s no way I could spend nine whole days together.” I’m not making fun of you. I realize this may be none of my business, but why not set aside a few days for some solo time? If I were going to Hawaii, for example, I’d escape to Kauai for a couple of days in the middle of the trip—to give my d*** a rest, too.

That’s quite a long trip. It’s a difficult one, but I’d probably ask for less than the allowance for one meeting multiplied by the number of days. I think it depends on how many adult encounters are expected, how much you like him, and how you feel about going on the trip. You should set the amount at a level where you can think, “Well, at least I’m getting an allowance,” even if something unpleasant happens. Also, since he’s from another country, rather than feeling shy and not saying anything, I think it would be fine to discuss it frankly, like, “I was thinking of this amount—what do you think?” Marika Additional note after seeing Kazu’s answer: If it were one night and two days, or maybe two nights and three days, I think that amount would be fine. But this trip is quite long. For reference, I once agreed to a domestic trip without asking for an allowance, and the papa got completely drunk and caused me a lot of trouble. I deeply regretted it.

I’m not sure what’s considered reasonable, but personally, I’m often offered an allowance equivalent to one pay-per-meeting date. Adding this after reading Marika’s answer: Come to think of it, my examples were only two nights and three days to three nights and four days at most.