No matter how much he likes his favorite PJ, does he still love his wife more?
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Why is it that men seem so unwilling to get divorced?
My parents divorced when I was in middle school. Even though my mother didn’t have another man, she desperately wanted a divorce, so I’ve never really been able to imagine what a normal family is like. The families of people I’ve dated and my friends have all been pretty similar.
They say the passion in a relationship fades after three years, but that point has long since passed. Could someone explain what married couples’ love is actually like?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I’m a male member and something of a wannabe farmer.
“Why does every man seem so unwilling to get divorced?”
I don’t mean to be rude, but how many married men have you actually met, spoken with, or researched to make that claim?
I’m married myself, but honestly, I do want to leave my wife. I’ve even clearly told her, “This isn’t working anymore. Let’s get divorced,” while discussing money and specific terms.
That said, being in the club and meeting women is a completely separate issue from wanting to leave my wife.
In my case—and I’m talking only about my own situation here! What I’m saying does not represent all men—I believe I would still be in the club and meeting women even if I were in a state of mind where I couldn’t, or wouldn’t even consider, divorcing my wife.
As other respondents have said, I also see marriage and my activities at this club as entirely separate things.
I assume the person who asked this question met a papa who was someone she could realistically imagine marrying. And because that “papa” is married, she ended up asking this question. (That’s just my speculation—sorry if I’m mistaken.)
Universe has a program called “Kotobuki Style,” which celebrates marriages between members. However, I think the chances of two members here actually getting married are incredibly low—about as likely as having dozens of zeros after the decimal point.
I’ll leave the rest for you to think about. Wishing you all the best.
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Of course, there are couples who still absolutely adore each other even after many years. And I think that, for couples who have been together a long time, caring about each other as family is another form that love can take.
It’s not that most couples stay married because they still love each other deeply—it’s more that things are usually “not bad enough to get divorced.”
Divorce takes a lot of effort, and once children and money are involved, things only get more complicated. It’s a pain having to make all kinds of decisions with someone you don’t even love anymore—through endless discussions, arguments, and compromises, right?
So unless there’s enough negative energy to make you think, “I never want to see their face again,” or “Even if we live separately, I hate being legally married to them,” I think people generally don’t end up getting divorced.
Marika
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Since getting married, I’ve spent more time with her than I did with my own parents, so she’s family to me. She’s a partner I can trust, and our relationship is built more on trust than romantic feelings.
My wife also enjoys herself outside the marriage. In fact, she started before I did, so when I found out about it, I thought, “Lucky me,” and signed up here, haha.
I also talked about it in an interview for one of Hinata’s novels. Give it a read if you’re interested, haha.
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Even if marriage is “a matter between two people,” divorce isn’t that simple because there are children and various other relationships involved.
I wouldn’t say I love her deeply, but she’s definitely my strategist（笑）
Besides, even if my adult relationships came to an end, I still have women I’m seeing, so it wouldn’t affect my life at all.
I’m grateful to the dating club—and to the women I’ve met through it.
As for what it means for spouses to like each other, I guess it’s being able to sit next to each other without getting in each other’s way（笑）
We both maintain a comfortable distance, perhaps?
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If someone asked me directly, as the questioner did, “Are you deeply in love with her?” I’d have a hard time answering (laughs).
However, I can answer the second question: “Don’t you want to get divorced?”
My answer is, “I’ve never wanted a divorce, and my wife probably couldn’t either.” Since it’s personal, I’d rather not go into too much detail, but neither morally nor financially do we have any reason to choose divorce.
Emotionally, it’s like a quiet, steady stream. My feelings don’t fluctuate dramatically, but I deeply admire my wife’s sincerity and how hard she works. When I was younger, I used to make light of how inflexible she could be, but lately I’ve started thinking, “Putting your whole heart into something is a weapon as powerful as a nuclear bomb.”
I’m aware that I’m benefiting from the situation, so I’m grateful to the women who spend time with me. But I tell them that I can’t offer them anything more, even if they were to want more from me. Well, to begin with, I don’t think they want more anyway.
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Considering the emotional energy a divorce would take, as well as the stable life I have now, I can’t imagine marrying a girl I only happened to like for a while.
As you said, things cool off with a PJ after about three years anyway.
And although it’s not as much of a concern as it used to be, given my position, I still have to be mindful of how relatives, business associates, and others perceive me.
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