Hmm, while “the best defense is a good offense” may be true, it naturally damages the relationship, so it isn’t exactly a good move. The same applies to the current international situation: retaliatory attacks are the worst, and threatening to launch nuclear missiles if the other side does anything more isn’t cool either. What can actually calm things down is diplomatic effort—ignoring that kind of behavior while emphasizing the importance of cooperation between the two countries. I think that kind of tact is important in relationships too.
When turning someone down, it’s better to use a mild excuse, like, “I’d be embarrassed because my place isn’t tidy.” Even if you want to be slightly more assertive, something like, “I’m worried about what the neighbors might think—they mentioned it to me the other day,” should be enough. It doesn’t matter whether it’s really true; a lie is fine. It’s all about how you phrase it. They may show some vague dissatisfaction, but that’s only natural since you’re rejecting something they want. As long as it doesn’t escalate into talk of ending the relationship, you’ve successfully gotten out of it.
As Date Yume says, I think it’s important in a dating club to stay on good terms while maintaining a certain distance, rather than sharing absolutely everything and becoming overly involved. Actually, I think that applies to all human relationships. With that in mind, the skill you should work on is managing that distance. There are all kinds of people in the world, so you can’t leave it entirely up to the other person. Once you learn to control the distance yourself, life becomes a much easier world to navigate. Since you have this opportunity, why not work on developing that skill?
Taro
Haha, that was a little rash of you（笑）
Still, depending on your relationship with your papa, I think saying, “Maybe after a little more time has passed…” should work just fine（笑）. He’ll probably get the hint.
I don’t think I’m the only one who feels that it’s more in keeping with a dating club to maintain clear boundaries, express that you want to see each other, and then meet up at a mutually agreed point before taking things further.
