When I was new to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I didn’t know the going rates and told a papa I wanted 3.
After meeting a few more people and receiving more than twice that amount from some of them, I realized I must have been mistaken.
I know there are papas with all kinds of financial means, but if a woman’s requested amount is lower than what the papa was prepared to pay, do you raise it? Or do you think, “Great, I can get away with paying less”?
Other than the papa I initially told “3,” everyone else offered me at least twice that amount, which left me confused.
One papa was older, and I had mainly met men in the Standard class. This time, he offered me a Platinum opportunity and told me, “There aren’t many girls with such high expectations. They all say 4.”
I’ve given up on getting him to change terms we already agreed on, so I told him I wanted to take a short break. He was a very nice person, but he kept saying how lucky he was, and our dates gradually became longer than those with other papas, with more and more drawbacks.
Since the allowance was low, he did make an effort in other ways, such as treating me to meals.
I know it was my fault for not knowing the going rate, but if a papa has budgeted 5 and the woman says she wants 3, is he supposed to give her 3?
Sorry for the vulgar question, and thank you.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I spent nearly seven hours with my favorite woman, going to six different places for a dinner date. (She enjoys drinking, while I stick to soft drinks.)
The allowance was the same as for a one- or two-hour date.
Do long dates like this tend to become a source of dissatisfaction?
Have those innocent early days—when you could enjoy a fun date and receive an allowance—already disappeared?
I think it’s because she’s someone who makes the time fly by, which is why the arrangement has lasted for so many years.
I hope you can keep an open heart and find someone like that.
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Thanks for your question. I’ll answer as Maezawa as well.
> When I was a beginner,
> I told my papa “3.”
If you personally felt that 3 was what you wanted, then I think it means you were comfortable with 3 from this particular person. In that case, I don’t think you were wrong.
However, if you later met people who offered more than twice that amount and started wanting more, I think that’s only natural. Rather than speaking badly about him, you need to decide for yourself whether you want to continue seeing this man or only see people who offer twice as much or more.
If you feel you can continue seeing that papa, then I think you should. If you feel you’d like to receive a little more allowance, you could also try asking, tactfully, whether he can increase it.
If he says that isn’t possible, then perhaps you can simply part ways with both of you satisfied with the outcome.
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There’s nothing inherently wrong with 3. It was simply the amount that felt right between you and that papa.
As women receive offers from other men, they gradually gain the ability to choose for themselves—whether it’s someone more generous (well-paying) or someone they enjoy spending time with. Papas who offer little allowance or aren’t a good fit for an adult relationship (intimate) tend to get weeded out.
(For women who aren’t receiving offers, if that papa would disappear entirely without accepting what feels like a low allowance, continuing with that amount may still be better than having nothing.)
Then, after some time has passed, you can find yourself surrounded by people you enjoy meeting, feel comfortable with, share food preferences or hobbies with, and whose allowance is reasonably satisfying—and spend your time happily.
I don’t think you’ll be very happy if you keep thinking, “I was really worth 6, but I’d only ever been given 3!”
I’m not in a position to offer allowances, so this may be slightly off the point of your question, but I hope it helps.
Marika
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> The papa is older.
> That’s not me you’re talking about, is it? (lol)
I’d probably think, “Lucky me!” (lol)
And I’d say,
“If you need to take a break, then take one.”
But realistically,
she’s never told me she wants to take a break.
In our case, we only see each other twice a month, but whenever I ask, “When can we meet next?” she’s never said anything like, “Wait!” or “I’m still thinking about it.”
Also, when she asks,
“Can we meet on the ○th or △th?”
I’ve never told her, “No, I can’t.”
Anyway,
don’t overthink it—just enjoy yourselves.
When it comes to relationships, the one who keeps it going the longest wins. (lol)
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Even if she says 30, I’ll give her 50. I’ve actually done that before—not at Universal Studios, though.
How should I put it? It’s closer to handing someone my business card. Just as I don’t change the card depending on who I’m giving it to, I don’t change the amount depending on the person.
To me, it isn’t money. Maybe part of me just doesn’t want to think of it that way—because if it were money, it would mean I was buying a woman.
You wouldn’t want to feel like you were being bought either, right? Even if you had a pay-per-meeting arrangement for 1 million yen, that would mean selling your body for 1 million yen. There’s nothing to brag about.
Don’t overthink the money in a relationship. Don’t get too hung up on whether the amount is high or low. It’ll only make both men and women feel miserable. Just agree on the terms casually and move on.
And don’t regret what’s already over. Forget it. Look back only on the good memories.
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Even when a woman says she wants 30, I offer 50.
I don’t see the allowance as a price, so I’m not trying to raise it. I don’t consider it cheap, either.
And as you can tell from the fact that some men gave you 30 while others gave you 60 or more, I don’t think there’s any universally accepted going rate for an allowance.
You can see this clearly by looking at dating clubs where women list their desired allowance amounts in their profiles—the figures really do vary from person to person.
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