I’m more of a letter-date person, but situations like this are when I start considering using a matchmaking date service.
For example, if I have to travel somewhere far away for a business trip or something, I might look for someone I can meet locally for a date on a specific day.
I’d submit my request to several women and hope one of them ends up being available as my date.
Thanks for the question. Maezawa here—I’ll answer as well.
Most offers specify a particular date and time.
However, if the message says something like, “Sorry if that date doesn’t work for you,” it may be someone who is only in Tokyo that day on a business trip, or someone who is only available that day. This pattern isn’t all that common.
On the other hand, if someone isn’t from out of town but insists that it has to be that particular day, they’re probably just a demanding man. If you met him, you might end up having to accommodate his selfishness, while receiving the low allowance he has decided on himself—in the worst case.
In that sense, it’s actually a good thing that your schedules didn’t work out.
To find out which situation it is, you could ask the staff, “Is this person perhaps from out of town, which is why they’re only available on this date?” They should be able to tell you. (You may also hope that, if he is from out of town, he might make an effort to work around your schedule.)
If he isn’t from out of town, most people will want to be offered another candidate if the dates don’t work. So saying, “I’m not available that day, but I am available on this date,” can be effective.
That said, even in that case, if you only have one available day far in advance, he may decide, “We wouldn’t be able to meet often even if we started seeing each other, so I’ll pass.” He may then give up on making the offer, so that’s something to keep in mind.
Business trips and temporary returns to Japan for those living overseas tend to result in very specific, one-off offers.
They’re looking for someone who’s available on that particular day. It’s not like just anyone will do, but more like they contact several candidates in order of preference, moving on to the next person if they’re turned down.
Although it feels like a shame when I can’t make it, I also can’t always be available for a specific date every time. So I just assume it wasn’t meant to be with people like that.
Marika
“I want to go on a date this Sunday!
→ So I’ll look for a girl who can meet me that day.
→ After that, I’ll see how things feel and decide what to do next.”
That’s the kind of thing I mean. I’ve also asked an agent to find someone for me on a specific date and time.
I often hear women say they turned down an offer because the date and time specified by the man didn’t work for them.
So it seems to be pretty common.
Personally, I don’t specify a date and time when making an offer. I ask the woman about her availability instead.
P.S. When I’m traveling for work, I use Letter Date, which lets me communicate directly with women. Things go more smoothly when I discuss the date, time, and meeting place directly with her rather than going through staff.
