I have a papa (a male supporter) who stays overnight and has sex with me all day.
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He supports me in ways beyond money, and his allowance is low. But he puts all his weight on me, goes at it intensely for a long time without breaks, and takes a long time to finish, which becomes painful. He also pulls my hair, chokes me so hard that I get headaches, touches me so much that various areas become sore and irritated, and doesn’t shave his beard, so my face gets irritated.
I’ve tried moving his hands away, showing that I didn’t like it, and gently telling him when something hurt. But then he gets really moody, turns his back on me, and says, “So you hate me!?” Once that happens, the rest of the day becomes incredibly awkward and miserable.
How can I get him to actually take my feelings into consideration? Please don’t just tell me to break things off.
Other than “break up with him,” what kind of answer are you looking for?
If the allowance isn’t your main motivation, why not tell him that you don’t need the allowance and want him to stop doing anything painful?
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If they’re not reaching climax, maybe you should focus on helping them get there. I think it’d be better to figure out how to do that.
I’m not saying this because I’m always able to make them climax right away myself, lol. It might be fun to look up different techniques online and try them out.
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Why are you seeing someone so selfish?
You say he helps you in ways other than financially, but his allowance is low.
When you say he helps you in ways other than money… do you mean with work or something?
You’re in your twenties, right? Do you really have to rely on him?
He puts all his weight on you, won’t let you finish easily, and chokes you during kinky play. If he misjudges how much pressure to use… you could fall into an eternal sleep.
And then he sulks? Sounds awful. He reminds me of the papa (male supporter) I was seeing.
I just ended things with mine. He was stingy and looked down on me.
Why not break up with him too? Is that not an option?
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If it seems like breaking things off is the only option, what did he do for you besides giving you money?
Why not use the money you receive from another papa to settle whatever help you received from this papa, then end your relationship with him as well?
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Let me sum it up first:
- He pays little, but there are various circumstances that make it hard to break things off.
- He’s emotionally draining.
- It’s not just long—it’s painful in various ways.
- He gets sulky right away.
Do you really think there’s some magic phrase that can solve all of this at once?
If you’re asking because you genuinely think there is, my question to you is: Did you even receive a basic education?
Once you decide from the outset that you can’t break things off, I don’t think you’ll be able to find a solution very easily.
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The fact that it can go on for that long probably means that neither the man nor the woman has reached the end and fully finished satisfied. At the very least, I think the man isn’t satisfied with how the woman reacts or climaxes.
Rather than relying on words, if you show through the way you climax or your physical reactions that you’ve had enough, the man probably won’t continue any further.
One option might be to find and master the kind of stimulation that makes you climax and brings on those physical reactions. I can’t say whether you’ll be able to find it or master it, though.
If it comes down to compatibility or the particular man you’re with, I can only conclude that it will be difficult to improve.
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It wasn’t quite that bad, but I once had someone who wouldn’t stop even when I told him it hurt, and who never changed no matter how many times I told him what made me uncomfortable. I eventually couldn’t take it anymore and ended things.
There are always going to be some people who only think about their own pleasure. Those people won’t change. As Kazu suggested, I think it would be a good idea to have a serious conversation with him, prepared to end the relationship if necessary.
Even if he doubled my allowance, I couldn’t continue seeing someone who did things I couldn’t tolerate. I don’t think you should force yourself, either.
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I really think it would be a waste of time.
Alternatively, if you’re prepared to end the relationship and seriously tell them you need to talk, they might be willing to consider it.
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