I’m thinking about registering with a dating club for dinner only (no intimacy), but I keep making excuses not to go to the interview—such as feeling guilty if I get a boyfriend or not being able to tell my friends.
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I want the money, but I don’t want anyone to find out or to be disliked.
Sometimes I wonder if, since I’m so unsure, I should just not register at all and live an honest, steady life.
What do you think?
As I’ve mentioned several times before, for someone asking a question like this, I recommend working night shifts at an Amazon warehouse, where you can earn ¥1,600 an hour, or, if you live in central Tokyo, taking a night-shift job at a supermarket or ramen shop, where the pay is likewise usually ¥1,600 an hour.
You can earn money with none of the risks associated with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
With papa-katsu, if you’re only doing dinner dates, you’ll hardly get any offers, and earning ¥100,000 a year would be considered pretty good.
If you work one of the jobs above 20 days a month, you could earn as much as ¥2 million a year.
Isn’t that far better than papa-katsu?
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Thanks for your question.
Maezawa here.
> If I’m having doubts, maybe I should just not sign up and live an honest, steady life instead.
Having doubts probably means there’s a chance you’ll regret it later. If that’s how you feel, I think it’s better not to sign up.
If you absolutely need the money right now, or if you genuinely want to meet a good papa (a male supporter), then you should sign up with that purpose in mind.
If that’s the conclusion you come to, then even if someone finds out, it was the result of acting on your own decision. You probably won’t feel guilty, and you’ll be able to focus on the benefits you gained rather than the fact that you were found out.
In the end, there are many things we have to decide for ourselves. Do what you truly want to do, and when you’re unsure, don’t act. Even that might make a difference.
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You’re quite the worrier, worrying about what might happen if you get a boyfriend when you don’t even have one yet.
When I was in college, I once ran into a classmate about 30 minutes before a test while I was frantically memorizing everything I needed to know. Meanwhile, they were calmly preparing to cheat.
Back then, people would make tiny cheat sheets by repeatedly photocopying them at reduced size. They asked me, “Want one too?” But then my friend said, “Actually, if you’re the nervous type, you’d better not. You’ll get caught.”
I thought, “Yeah, that’s true. Someone nervous like me would probably worry about the proctor watching me, act suspicious, and get caught.” After that, I stopped envying friends who cheated and had no trouble deciding to compete fairly by studying for the tests.
So, if you can’t enjoy going on dates with a papa without feeling uneasy, I’d say don’t do it. But if you think you could have fun walking around together, then maybe it’s worth trying.
Whether you can actually get offers for dinner only is another matter, though.
Marika
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If you’re an A-type who only does dinner dates, you’ll hardly get any offers, so nothing will really change.
If you’re worried about getting caught, being disliked, or feeling guilty, the right choice is not to register and to live honestly.
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You should live your life steadily and honestly.
If there’s no need to get involved, there’s no reason to step into it.
Just as no woman joins a club without expecting an allowance, no man joins one without considering an adult relationship—even if he plans to offer an A-type arrangement after joining.
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I’m Shiro Usagi, a new answerer here.
When it comes to being introduced to someone of the opposite sex, matching apps, matchmaking sites, and marriage agencies also introduce people in exchange for payment, so I don’t think you need to feel that guilty about it.
If things were to progress from “dinner only” to an adult relationship (intimate), then it would essentially become a mistress-type arrangement, so I can understand why you might feel uncomfortable with that.
At Universe Club, if you specify “dinner only (no intimacy),” they generally won’t ask for anything beyond that unless both parties agree, so you can feel reassured.
Why not take that first step? You may discover a new side of yourself.
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I’d say, “You should be able to think it through and make that decision yourself.”
I’m more put off by people who keep going on and on to others like this, saying they want this and that. I think it’s rather pathetic to simply voice all your desires—wanting this and wanting that.
“I want to have an affair or sex with women, but I haven’t gone in for an interview because I don’t want my wife or anyone else to find out. If I’m having doubts, maybe I should just not register and live an honest, low-key life instead. What do you think?”
Try imagining how you would feel if someone asked you that question.
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