I’ve had two boyfriends in the past.
One was a handsome, image-conscious guy who was tall, went to a hair salon in Omotesando, and worked out at the gym—but he also had a habit of lying. The other was a charming, good-looking playboy who had plenty of girlfriends besides me.
Even if a man is a doctor or business owner, I don’t feel anything toward him unless he’s handsome.
Since you’re all members of Universe Club, are you also mainly attracted to looks?
Is there any way to get over this?
To begin with, I don’t think there are actually that many girls who are strictly looks-oriented. Even those who are tend to shift, as they get older, from “handsome = good-looking” to judging whether someone is handsome based on the whole package, including financial stability and the way he carries himself.
So while being unattractive can be a problem, you may still be able to date someone who isn’t especially handsome. However, the other requirements become stricter, so it’s not necessarily that the bar gets lower—in some cases, it may actually get higher.
I don’t even know whether this can be “cured,” and I think there’s a good chance it could become even more pronounced.
Incidentally, there are doctors and business owners who are conventionally handsome, but none of the people in their 20s or 30s around my age are members of dating clubs.
I haven’t seen every male member of every dating club, so this is just speculation, but even if there are handsome men in those professions, I think there’s a fairly high chance they’re in their 40s or older.
Some of the men like that around me have women they keep, or girlfriends if they’re unmarried, but they’re naturally popular without joining a dating club, so they have no reason to go out of their way to join one. And honestly, although my sample size is small, I often feel that they’re on a somewhat different level from the girls at the clubs.
Also, I’m very much a looks-oriented person. I have no intention of changing that, and I think I’ve become pretty demanding about factors beyond appearance as well.
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I’m not picky about looks, but my papa is seriously handsome.
If you’re lucky, you might meet someone like that through a dating club too.
I can’t guarantee he’ll take a liking to you, though…
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I’m probably the same as Seattle-san, too.
I think what you notice changes as you get older. One of the women I’m seeing started calling me handsome after we’d been dating for about three years（笑）
I’m definitely attracted to looks, though. I’m the type who starts with appearances（笑）
You don’t need to change anything in particular. Your preferences will gradually change over time, so don’t worry.
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I don’t think there’s any way to cure it.
I’m not handsome, so I’ll probably be a looks-oriented person for the rest of my life.
That said, women may say they’re fans of or love people like Takeru Satoh, Masaharu Fukuyama, or Inaba, yet still choose to marry someone like me. Unlike men, their feelings can change significantly through emotional connection.
Beautiful women often aren’t especially focused on looks, so I think that beauty tends to grow when you avoid calling yourself too much of a “looks-oriented” person. With men, there’s even the phrase “Beauty and the Beast,” so I use “looks-oriented” in that sense too—as in, I’m saying it because I’m unattractive.
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The most handsome man in Japan right now has to be Yukichi Fukuzawa. The government decided it, so the person asking should just go along with it.
By the way, starting in July 2024, it’ll be Eiichi Shibusawa. Look up the new ¥10,000 bill and check for yourself. So, what do you think? If there were a woman who was okay with an adult relationship for five Yukichis, would it be eight or ten with Eiichi?
Replacing Yukichi with Eiichi will probably cause inflation in Japan to accelerate dramatically. Or maybe people will start disliking cash and go digital instead. The Bank of Japan and the government really came up with a clever plan.
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There are plenty of handsome doctors and business owners out there, aren’t there? You just need to win their hearts.
I don’t know whether they’re in dating clubs. They might be at high-end paid drinking events, but who knows.
Marika
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You’ll grow out of it once you hit your 30s or 40s.
People your age will start to look older, and you’ll get tired of beautiful women, so interesting people become the best choice.
If you like handsome guys, then go for handsome guys. But papa-katsu isn’t really for you—there are only old men.
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