Why am I treated so harshly by my manager and older women at my part-time job?
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I know questions unrelated to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) aren’t really appropriate, so I’ll try to relate it to that.
Male business owners really seem to like me and treat me kindly. I don’t know why. But older women and male managers constantly harass me.
I genuinely have no idea why.
People often say that beautiful women aren’t disliked, and that handsome men are well-liked too.
Is it because I’m not cute?
Based on what you’ve written:
> “Male business owners really like me.”
If by “papa” you mean these men, then I think they like you when they see you as a woman.
> “Older women and male managers of the same sex really harass me.”
Women who aren’t liked by other women may come across as the type who blatantly fawns over men. But older women usually have enough maturity and tolerance not to worry about that.
So I think the simple explanation may be that you’re not good at your job.
If by “harassment” you mean things like, “I told you the same thing the other day—why can’t you do it?” then it also sounds like it may be because you’re struggling at work.
Not knowing why this is happening may indicate a serious issue, but it’s also possible that your current workplace simply isn’t a good fit. I think you should consider changing jobs.
Sometimes people just happen to be incompatible, so if things don’t work out, it may be better to look elsewhere.
If the same thing happens wherever you go, then the cause may lie with you—but I don’t think you can know that without trying a different job first.
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Maybe your ingratiating attitude isn’t being well received.
At an old part-time job, I was disliked by one of the longtime senior women. But after I worked incredibly hard for a whole year, she started treating me like a daughter and became very close to me.
It’s not that I changed as a person, but I guess people really do judge you based on their first impression and prejudices. If you seriously and consistently apply yourself, they’ll eventually realize, “This person isn’t bad after all.”
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Even the male manager dislikes her?
If she’s young and cute, you might be willing to overlook her being a little incompetent. But if even a man dislikes working with her, she must be seriously incapable. It seems tough because the person asking doesn’t realize that.
Whether someone is a handsome guy or a beautiful woman, if they can’t do their job, the people working with them will eventually dislike them.
In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), all you need is to be friendly, attractive, have a good figure, and be young.
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To put it bluntly, I think it’s simply because they’re not good at their job.
The business owner may not see everything that’s going on, so it could just be that they haven’t come to dislike them.
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Isn’t it because they can’t do the job and are relying solely on their looks? In a busy workplace, people like that tend to be disliked. As you pointed out, a beautiful woman with a clean, polished appearance might get by to some extent, but a sexy “cute-but-not-pretty” type often gets singled out and subjected to concentrated criticism. Even if she doesn’t mean to, people around her probably end up thinking, “Just take the job seriously.”
If the male business owner is her papa (a male supporter), then that has nothing to do with the job, so she’d probably be well-liked normally. Since the main goal is usually something sexual, I imagine sexy women would be welcomed.
If male business owners also tend to like them at their part-time jobs, there may be a slightly deeper reason. They might be hoping that having a sexy, cute woman around the office will lift the spirits of the younger male employees. It’s the same mechanism as the beautiful team-manager effect in school sports clubs: when you come back exhausted from sales calls and she smiles and says, “Good work today,” it cheers you up.
Taro
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A male store manager is still a male business owner in the sense that he bears responsibility for running the business, so I wonder what the difference is.
That’s a difficult question.
I don’t know either.
It’s me.
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