What reasons might a man have for removing a woman from his favorites after receiving a “You seem lovely” message from her?

You wrote that he had barely filled out his profile, providing only basic information like his blood type, age range, height, weight, occupation, and smoking status, so you had no idea about his hobbies or personality. But honestly, I don’t understand wanting to meet someone when you know nothing about their hobbies or personality. Speaking from my own perspective, if I’ve taken the time to properly fill out my profile and then receive a message from a woman I’ve added to my favorites saying I seem great while referring to specific details in my profile, I’d be really happy. On the other hand, if I hadn’t written much in my profile and received a generic message saying I seemed great, I’d think, “What did she see in me that made her send this message? This is kind of creepy.” Maybe the man you were talking to felt the same way. I’ll say it again: wanting to meet a man when you know nothing about his hobbies or personality seems rather unbalanced. And being hurt by that on top of it… I think you should fundamentally reconsider the way you look at this.

If you want to improve, work on your mental resilience so you don’t get hung up on such trivial things. I’m sure this questioner is the type to worry, “I went to the trouble of asking, but will anyone actually answer? User X answered other questions but not mine—was there something wrong with how I asked it?”

I think this is actually a pretty interesting question, so I’ll share a real example from a male member’s perspective. Every day, new women register, and some women re-register as well. When someone catches my eye, I add her to my “favorites.” Universe Club has a large number of registered women, so over the course of a year, I end up adding quite a few to my favorites. However, I actually make offers to only a very small number of them. When I first registered, all the women on the site were candidates, so even women who had registered quite a while ago were possibilities. But once I’d gone through everyone once, new registrations became my main focus. If I really like someone, I make an offer as soon as I find her. Waiting a month after her registration—or re-registration—is actually considered fairly late. There are also times when I make an offer to a woman I had left sitting in my favorites list. Maybe things suddenly ended with an existing partner and my schedule opened up, or maybe several new offers in a row didn’t work out. At times like that, I find myself thinking, “Isn’t there anyone out there?!” and going through my old favorites to make an offer. Even then, if you use the number of women I’ve made offers to as the numerator and my favorites as the denominator, the offer rate is under 10%. I discovered another rather cruel fact while looking into this: so far, there hasn’t been a single case where things lasted long with a woman I approached under those circumstances. In the end, I wasn’t serious. In one case, I was perfectly happy with a transactional relationship focused mainly on satisfying my desires, but she approached me with genuinely sincere feelings. I felt so guilty that I stopped contacting her. I’m truly sorry about that. Now, to the main point: from a man’s perspective, if a woman is in his favorites but he never makes an offer, he has probably already reached a conclusion about her. If nothing happens, she’ll simply remain on the list. But when she sends a message, she becomes more real and imaginable to him, and he may feel bad and remove her from his favorites. It’s similar to following someone on social media even though you’re no longer interested in them. If they post something after a long absence and you get a notification, that can prompt you to unfollow them. It’s that kind of feeling. So please don’t let this get you down. Being added to someone’s favorites means there’s a possibility, but things are still completely up in the air. Try making a little contact without getting your hopes up—if something comes of it, great. Depending on his circumstances, you may have a chance of catching his interest. Taro

Don’t worry about it too much. You’ll find the next papa (a male supporter)—someone wonderful—and can send it to him. I don’t know the reason, though.

The reason men add someone to their favorites has actually been a mystery to me for a long time. It would be natural to assume they add you because they like you or are interested in you for some reason. But in reality, they often give vague explanations, such as saying they added you by mistake. You might think, “There’s no way they added me by accident,” but apparently some men add women to their favorites even when they have no intention of making an offer. Come to think of it, a while ago, a male respondent wrote that he used the favorites feature to mean the opposite. I seem to remember him saying he stopped doing that after the site changed its settings so women could see it. So perhaps some men add women they absolutely don’t want to meet to their favorites—using it as a blacklist, for example. That said, I’ve never heard this directly from a man. I think some men add people they genuinely like, while others add them by mistake—or at least claim they did, when the real reason is unknown. In the questioner’s case, perhaps he added her to his favorites for some reason, but then received a “You’re lovely” message and realized she could see that she was in his favorites, which made him uncomfortable. So he may have removed her from the list.

He may simply not be into women who take the initiative and actively pursue him.

Since they didn’t know anything about your hobbies or personality either, I think it’s understandable that they sent a fairly neutral self-introduction and said they’d be happy to meet you. Well, they may have felt the same way you did—that you were a bit hard to read. They say, “Keep firing and you’ll eventually hit something.” Don’t dwell on it. Stay positive. This is exactly the time to move on to— The next one! On to the next! Next!

A little while ago, I received a message from a woman I didn’t know and hadn’t added to my favorites saying, “Thank you for adding me to your favorites. You seem wonderful.” It was a fairly long self-introduction—nearly ten lines—but none of it reflected anything in my profile. So I assume she either sent it to the wrong person or forgot to delete the first line of a complete copy-and-paste message. Unless the man you’re contacting has information about his hobbies or interests, it’s difficult to write a message that’s truly focused on him. It might be better to read someone’s profile and send a short, concise, to-the-point message only to people you’re genuinely interested in.