I read an article saying that you shouldn’t look away if you want to earn the trust of a young woman. Is there anything you all make a point of doing?

It’s seriously scary when someone keeps looking you straight in the eye and talking to you while you’re looking at your phone, lol. The comments section on that person’s column briefly opened up, so I made a snarky comment. Then I got a reply saying something like, “Hope you lose at Russian roulette and die.” That’s seriously messed up. What I keep in mind is, first and foremost, making sure the woman in front of me doesn’t feel uncomfortable. After that, if possible, I want her to have a good time.

I’m a male member, so I’d be mortified if anyone stared me down. Even when it comes to an allowance-based relationship with a younger woman, it’s still a human relationship. I believe that what you need to do to earn her trust—being sincere, keeping your promises, and so on—isn’t all that different from a normal friendship or business relationship. That said, there are three things I make a particular point of: 1. Keeping things on equal footing. 2. Treating her like a girlfriend or romantic partner. 3. Guaranteeing her freedom. That’s just my personal take—delivered with a hard stare.

That’s a pretty broad generalization, so let me offer a few words from someone of the same sex. Oh, and I’m technically in my twenties, though I may not be young enough to really call myself “young” anymore… “Don’t look away”—what am I, prey?! Wait, am I prey!? Now the question is: which one is the prey? The papa (a male supporter) who gets his money taken, or the PJ who gets her time taken? Honestly, if someone stared at me that intensely, I’d be like, “You’re making me kind of uncomfortable~” I’d start worrying that they had stalker tendencies, wonder if they were going to eat me, and think maybe I should play dead. It might be better to put a bell on yourself before meeting someone like that, so you don’t run into them in the first place. Oh, were we talking about that? Yes, bears. As for a bear-related incident famous in Japan, there’s probably the Sankebetsu brown bear incident. Bears apparently eat the internal organs first—not that they’re the only ones who do that. Incidentally, there are also countries where eating people is part of the culture. Though cannibalism is more of a religious practice in those cases… (and so on). Oh, and I once asked someone who rescues and rehomes cats from Russia about this. Apparently, Russian cats come running when they hear a distinctive “kusukusukusu” sound. It’s not actually that simple, but that woman could definitely call wild cats over. A beautiful woman and cats—can’t go wrong with that~ Maybe if you go “kusukusukusu,” a young woman (cat) will come running over. How about it? Anyway, sorry for the long preamble. Looking away excessively makes me wonder if someone has social anxiety, so it feels like a hassle because I have to be considerate of them. But being stared at the entire time is also a bit off-putting. Regardless of age or gender, when you’re talking to someone, the important things are: - Match the other person’s conversational pace. - Build on the conversation by responding with empathy. - Compliment them along the way. - During a first meeting, keep your hands where the other person can see them. - Make eye contact occasionally, then narrow your eyes slightly and give them a little childlike smile. That’s about it, I suppose. Personally, I consciously do those things at work and when talking to people I’ve never met before. If you can do all those basic things naturally, you can at least appear to get along with anyone, including young women. As for who’s manipulating whom, there’s no point worrying about it. I think it would be useful to study the gestures and conversational style of salespeople who sell—and can sell—high-priced products. Women would probably do well to learn from women who work in the nightlife industry. I actually have a friend who recently started working in that field, so I’d like to study her mannerisms and pick up a few tips, haha. Just my personal opinion. I simply felt like writing a long post, that’s all.

This is Kabuki’s column, right? Their columns are the most boring and pointless. The content is also a complete mess. I wish they’d stop writing them, and I hope they reject any more submissions.

Keep the comments closed, and yet you’re telling people to make eye contact? Absolutely ridiculous.

I’m always mindful of the difference between “leaving someone alone” and “being there for them,” and between “being controlling” and “supporting them.” When I do that, I feel like trust comes naturally.

It’s important to consider how the other person might feel. With papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), if you stare too much, she probably won’t want you looking at her that intensely. If you think about whether a young woman actually wants to look at you, she’ll usually be looking elsewhere instead. Since the man is the one who made the offer to a woman he likes, he naturally wants to keep looking at her. That’s why consciously looking away from time to time will probably feel more natural—and create a better balance with her eye contact.

I believe that, regardless of whether they’re young women or not, earning people’s trust starts with being a fair person. It’s not something you consciously put on. They’re not wild animals, so I don’t think something like whether you look away or not is going to solve anything. Maybe you feel that young women don’t trust you because you’re the sort of shallow person who would believe that kind of nonsense enough to repeat it to someone else. P.S. I see this was about a column article.

That’s a good question. Are you really paying attention to the person you’re with? When a young woman feels that she isn’t being properly seen or acknowledged, she may take it as you avoiding eye contact. It’s one of the basics of human interaction. I try to listen carefully. If you give thoughtful answers to what she asks—answers that make her think, “Oh, I see!”—she probably won’t feel that you’re avoiding eye contact. Also, if you make an effort not to do things she dislikes, she’ll likely feel that you’re genuinely paying attention to her.