About a papa (a male supporter) who doesn’t accept birthday gifts
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He told me he doesn’t want a gift because his wife might find out, but he’s always been so good to me that I’d like to do something for him.
I was thinking of giving him two packs of the cigarettes he always smokes, but would that actually be a bad idea...? Would it be best to do nothing and just give him my heartfelt wishes?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I’ve said this in response to similar questions before, but if he’s told you that gifts are a hassle, giving him one will only make things awkward.
So today, tell him, “I’m your present. I’ll do whatever you say—have it your way,” and give him several times more attention than you usually do with an adult relationship.
Memories are worth more than things. They’re priceless, lol.
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Why would he want to give you a present when you’ve said you don’t want one?
For that papa (a male supporter), the best gift is not giving you anything at all.
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Giving my papa (a male supporter) two packs of cigarettes
I honestly don’t understand the sentiment behind it.
Even if he has a wife, I don’t think he’d be happy to receive something like that. Cigarettes do nothing but harm.
The things I’ve given him so far include a business card holder, a tie, a ballpoint pen, and a belt—mostly items he can use in business settings.
They’re all things he could buy for himself, so I’m not really sure how happy he was to receive them.
The thing he appreciated most was when I cooked the food he wanted and prepared some sexy lingerie, telling him, “I got this because I want to enjoy spending time with you, ○○.” We ended up having a wonderful time.
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Saying “it’s just the thought that counts” when you’re not actually giving anything doesn’t really show much thought, so I think it’s better to give them something tangible.
As a smoker myself, I don’t think a couple of packs would be much of a burden to carry, so cigarettes would be fine too.
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This is Zuiki, a male member whose wife occasionally searches through his things.
If your papa (a male supporter) told you that and said no gifts, I think you should take him at his word.
I’ve never smoked, so I have no idea whether getting two packs of cigarettes (why two packs??) would really make someone happy. But I have a sweet tooth, so I’d be touched if someone bought me a cake to eat at the hotel on my birthday!
Memories over material gifts!
Wouldn’t it be enough to show your heartfelt appreciation through your actions?
By the way, I’m a lousy papa who asks the women he dates for birthday presents lol.
Oh, I just thought of something good!
If he’s particular about cigarettes, how about getting a lighter for yourself so you can light his cigarette while you’re on a date? The moment your papa puts a cigarette in his mouth… *click—whoosh!* Light it right away!
Just my slightly hostess-club-style opinion.
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This is Natsuki Otsuka from Universe Club♪
Thank you for your question.
A wonderful female member once said that when she couldn’t return the favor in a tangible way, she would plan the entire date herself and give him that special day as a gift.
A thoughtful gift like that is lovely too, don’t you think?
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I think wanting to do something for someone else is a wonderful feeling.
However, there’s an important condition: it has to be “for their sake.”
Doing something for someone because it benefits them, versus doing something to satisfy yourself, may look similar on the surface—but there’s a big difference between the two.
If you keep that distinction in mind, I think the answer will naturally become clear.
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I’ve received homemade cookies from women who can bake a few times. In every case, it was just one cookie. I’d eat it right there, say something like, “That’s delicious, thanks,” and we’d have a warm, pleasant conversation before wrapping things up. With this approach, the papa doesn’t take anything home, so he can feel reassured that there’s no trace left behind.
One woman chose a restaurant for my birthday. It served food I liked, and since she liked it too, she did her research and made the reservation. We met at the restaurant, and for some reason, I was happy to walk into a place reserved under her name. I paid the bill, but it was a delicious yet reasonably priced restaurant, and I liked that we seemed to have similar attitudes toward money. I’ve gone back there several times since.
Two packs of cigarettes might also be inconspicuous enough, but somehow they feel a bit like a sex-worker-style gift. I can picture a fairly experienced hostess, smoking one herself after we’d finished, saying, “Oh, right—I have a birthday present for you today. You said you didn’t want a present because your wife might find out, but cigarettes should be okay, right? I like you so much that I got you two packs instead of one. Smoke them while thinking of me, haha.” It’s a nice image in its own way, though. (笑)
Taro
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If he’s a papa (a male supporter) who treats you well, wouldn’t he be happy to receive something you bought—especially a consumable item? He doesn’t need to get anything; it’s simply the thought that counts.
If you’re giving him something, I’d suggest putting in a little effort and making homemade cookies or sweets—something that keeps at room temperature.
If you’d rather buy something, take the time to look for something he’ll really like and want to use for a long time—something that wouldn’t look suspicious even if his wife saw it.
If you don’t feel you’re that close, though, it’s perfectly fine not to give him anything.
You can tell in a single day that someone smokes if you’re sitting there watching them smoke. For a smoker, you could at least give him something like tea or supplements that are good for his health. Surely there are better options.
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