Regarding allowances for women, based on what I’ve heard from the 70-plus women I’ve made offers to and from men I’ve connected with through the club, I understand that the most common allowance is ¥80,000–¥100,000.

I think women talk to you that way because they can’t see you unless the allowance is 80,000–100,000 yen. You’re just highlighting how disappointing you are, so you should stop. For reference, I see all the women I’m dating for an allowance of 50,000 yen, and I haven’t had any particular problems.

I’m Kousaka from the staff, and I’d like to answer as well! Do we really need to worry about the average allowance in the first place? Personally, I don’t think so! If both people are happy with the amount and can enjoy seeing each other, isn’t it fine to disregard the average?

Have you ever stopped to think about how women who only receive 30,000–50,000 yen feel when you post things like this? You know there are similar questions in the archives, right? Rather than genuinely feeling sorry for these women, aren’t you just a little proud of yourself and trying to say, “I pay this much, so any woman who gets to meet me is lucky. Pretty impressive, right? Now do as I say”? If you had truly considered how women who receive less than what you pay feel, I don’t think you could have asked this question in the first place. That said, I do think women in the Platinum and Black tiers may have a higher chance of meeting men who pay more than those in the Gold or Standard tiers. But do you really think male members will increase their allowances just because you ask whether it’s sad that some women aren’t receiving as much as you or the women around you? Male members are paying allowances to female members out of their own pockets. What may be a mere 30,000–50,000 yen to you may not be insignificant to other male members. And from the women’s perspective, some are working hard to earn whatever they can, even if the allowance is considered low. You might say that men like that should quit, but if all the male members paying under 50,000 yen quit, women will only receive offers from a limited number of men, and opportunities will dry up. If you’re willing to cover the offer fees and allowances those men would have paid, then go ahead and say that 80,000–100,000 yen should be the norm. But you can’t do that, can you? What’s normal for you isn’t necessarily normal for the women involved. It only applies to a small segment of people. That’s why people who aren’t directly involved shouldn’t go on about the going rate or anything else. The people directly involved should decide the terms between themselves. It’s not your place to keep complaining about it. It makes me sad that you’re nearly 40 and still don’t understand adult realities, kind lies, or the idea that sometimes ignorance is bliss. Some women think things through and negotiate and act for themselves. Others set a minimum line and do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), gather information, and work hard in their own smart ways. I think it’s enough for you to support only the women close to you. It would be wonderful if you could take care of everyone, but that’s impossible, isn’t it? There’s no point in giving women unrealistic hopes when you can’t actually change anything. And if you can’t take responsibility for the women who become discouraged after getting their hopes up, you shouldn’t interfere in the first place. The idea that “women receiving low allowances are pitiful” doesn’t arise simply because low-paid female members exist. It’s caused by male or female members going out of their way to announce that they pay or receive high allowances. That’s just my personal opinion.

Thanks. Wanting to raise the standard allowance? That sounds like a question only a woman would ask（笑） By the way, who exactly are you（笑） You’re not even one of the answerers here, yet you’ve made offers to 70 women and are connected with other papas too, right? It’s all about supply and demand. If you’re willing to pay such generous allowances, women will be happy, so do you really need to say anything to the lower-paying guys? If everyone started doing that, you’d lose your advantage. It’s like telling the women soliciting on the streets around Toyoko to stop accepting 15,000–30,000 yen because it lowers the standards of papa-katsu—it would be pointless. Everyone’s different. If you don’t need this Q&A section, then don’t come here to read it. Or become an answerer yourself and help raise the standards. Pick one. Also, getting new women’s hopes up too much only for them to find out that they can’t actually receive that much is cruel in its own way.

Some couples are happily seeing each other with an allowance of 50,000 yen per meeting. Others receive 100,000 yen or more per meeting, but still don’t feel happy because they’re enduring a transactional relationship for the money. And there are men who give 100,000 yen or more per meeting, yet don’t feel happy because they don’t feel genuinely valued by the women they see. These are simply several different realities. It’s not about some standard amount, or whether giving a certain amount makes the relationship “good.” When you ask yourself, “Why am I in this relationship?” I don’t think women should be left with only “for the money” as their answer, or men with only “for sex.” I think it would be nice if both men and women could pursue relationships through dating clubs with “happiness” as their goal.

I don’t think ¥50,000 is the most common allowance either. Among the men who have become generous (well-paying) papas, the most common pay-per-meeting amounts were ¥60,000, ¥70,000, and ¥80,000. That said, even if you or I conducted a survey among the people around us, all we’d find is the most common amount among our own circles. What’s more, both men and women have their pride, so they may be overstating how much they paid or received. Even I sometimes feel like saying, “The most common amount is ¥150,000,” haha. I’d consider a survey reliable if it could eliminate all these biases and accurately reflect allowances across the entire population. But papa-katsu money exists in a gray economy that never really enters the mainstream, so conducting such a survey is practically impossible. That’s why we can only judge allowances based on information from the people around us, and why all kinds of speculation fly around. But isn’t that fine? Some people enjoy being able to say, “I can pay more than the going rate,” while others are simply happy to have met a woman at a low cost. Each person can weigh their own sexual desires against their financial situation and find an amount they’re comfortable with.

What’s the point of asking people on the Q&A site, “Are the club and everyone else using the minority opinions of Q&A respondents as the standard for allowances?” So the mode around you is 80,000–100,000 yen, is it? I’ve probably met more male and female members than you have, but what I often hear around me is 50,000 yen. That said, I don’t consider 50,000 yen the standard. For starters, what exactly is a “standard”? When I mention allowance amounts, I’m simply talking about what I personally give, or what I’ve heard or seen others give, when someone posts this kind of question and I feel it’s necessary to answer. If you feel sorry for women, then I think people should stop posting these so-called questions about allowance amounts. That way, there would be no answers mentioning allowance amounts at all. P.S. Regarding the final paragraph of my answer, Potassium-san has written about it very thoughtfully. Allowance amounts are different for everyone, and whether they’re high, low, or perhaps even the same, each person is bound to have their own feelings about this sensitive subject. So, honestly, I wish people wouldn’t bring up such a shitty topic. While claiming that “women are the ones who suffer,” I have more of an issue with the level of decency of the people who post this kind of shitty topic in the first place.

You’re averaging across every class, age group, and region, right? Surely you’re not calculating the average based only on women who match your preferences, from a skewed age group and class in your own area. I was curious, so I thought I’d check. Though I suppose I won’t get an answer anyway. Marika

That’s a very reasonable opinion. In short, if the women aren’t satisfied, there’s no real benefit to using a dating club. So I believe you need to build relationships that leave the women feeling satisfied. What I’d like you to think carefully about is this: How can you create a relationship that makes the woman you’re seeing happy? As you probably already realize, even though this is an allowance-based relationship, you shouldn’t conduct it solely for your own convenience. If you make sure the woman is satisfied, you’ll become popular with them—just like I am, haha—and the overall satisfaction of the women at the dating club will rise significantly. Also, a woman’s satisfaction isn’t determined by whether the allowance is high or low. Why not ask the women themselves? After that, all you can do is put it into practice. Good luck!

I don’t think the allowance amounts mentioned by the questioner are particularly off; they’re generally within the usual range. That said— Do you really want to use answers from men who offer high allowances or women who accept low allowances as a reference? With an allowance of 80,000–100,000 yen, you’re unlikely to be turned down. Conversely, if a woman is willing to accept 20,000–30,000 yen, a man probably won’t turn her down over the amount either. How many women actually want to use the experiences of women accepting a low allowance of 20,000–30,000 yen as a reference? And how many men want to use the experiences of men offering 80,000–100,000 yen or more as a reference? Normally, it’s hard to imagine things not working out when you’re offering a generous allowance. Also, I think a man’s honest feeling is that he doesn’t want to date a woman who decides whether to join based on the allowance amount. If a woman is attractive, her allowance will be higher. If a man is attractive, his allowance is…? (At the very least, men who aren’t attractive will have to offer higher allowances.) And when a woman is attractive, she no longer needs to be so fixated on money. You could say she becomes able to decide for herself what she wants to prioritize. The reality is that there probably aren’t that many men and women who can genuinely enjoy papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for what it is. Because I want to fully enjoy the fun side of papa-katsu, I basically feel that the allowance doesn’t need to be discussed—unless it feels like an unbelievably wonderful connection. I believe the best relationships are the ones where neither person worries about the allowance, rather than relationships that are clearly transactional. Of course, some people may want to define everything clearly as part of the terms of the arrangement. I think it really depends on the individual and on what each person chooses to prioritize in the relationship. Still, deciding on a fixed amount in advance and handing over that same amount every time somehow feels a little off to me. Does a woman feel happy receiving a set amount every time? Or does she simply see it as normal or expected? I wonder which it is… And if a man genuinely feels the gratitude mentioned in the question, is it really enough to give the same fixed amount every time? Does that properly convey how he feels? I wonder…