About how often to stay in touch: I’m not the type to initiate frequent messages on LINE or other apps, so I usually keep things to the bare minimum and only exchange a few messages.
This content is machine-translated.
When it’s someone I’m dating or a friend, we can message each other freely without overthinking it. But this kind of arrangement, like the one through our club, is new to me, so I’m still trying to figure out how often to reach out and what to talk about. I know some people will say, “That depends on her personality and the relationship, right?” Haha.
Ladies, how do you respond to messages from your papa (a male supporter)? For example: you didn’t think much of him at the first meeting, so he’s low priority and you end up leaving his messages unread for a while; you’re just not naturally good at keeping in touch; he’s a good papa, but you can’t reply right away to messages about confirming plans; or you respond quickly to a papa you really like. What’s it usually like for you?
Since this is my first time in this kind of arrangement, if a message confirming plans goes unread for more than a day, I start wondering whether I should take the hint and back off from her.
Am I jumping to conclusions too quickly? I’d really appreciate hearing how women generally feel about this.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂Not stated👑Universe male member
💗Likes0👁️Views219💬Answers16
🔖IDUARHT-00000🎯Looking for answers from
誰でも
男性会員
女性会員
I’m Micchan, a female member.
For everyday communication, I basically reply as soon as I notice a message and have a chance to respond—ideally within half a day.
There are exceptions, though. For people who have families, I try not to contact them myself, while for busy people who value quick replies, I’ll set my notifications so they appear right away.
The messages I proactively send are usually just thank-yous for dinner or letting them know I got home safely…
Even though I have my own rules, I’m not naturally great at keeping in touch, so messaging can make me feel a bit nervous. That’s why, with people I can discuss things like communication frequency with from the start, I feel more at ease and it seems easier to continue the relationship.
It really depends on the relationship.
Personally, I’d rather talk in person about anything that isn’t simply logistical, so I prefer to keep messaging to a minimum. But I still enjoy the back-and-forth of inviting each other out and being invited!
By the way, I’m always happy to receive an invitation even if some time has passed. If I don’t want to meet, I’ll simply decline by message.
I’m not sure how helpful this will be, but I hope you’re able to build a good relationship!
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I think opinions on how often to stay in touch vary from person to person, regardless of gender.
I’m seeing three women. I know that two of them have jobs that make it difficult to reply quickly, so I don’t mind if I don’t hear back within 24 hours.
The other one doesn’t really have a reason for replying slowly, but apparently she’s known for being slow to respond—even her friends say so. As long as I like her, I figure there’s not much I can do about it.
In the end, I think it comes down to whether enough negative points pile up to make you decide whether to continue or part ways.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Now, I only have papas (male supporters) I’m genuinely close with, so I reply right away because they’re happy to get an immediate response.
That said, when I first started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I didn’t worry too much about replying instantly. If they replied in 10 minutes, I’d reply in 10 minutes too; if it took them half a day, I’d take half a day as well.
I think it’s best to match the other person’s pace.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Haha, I know the feeling. It’s hard to know what to do at first, right? I totally get it.
The woman probably isn’t sure either. I think you’re both just feeling each other out（笑）
Next time you meet, it might be a good idea to discuss things like how often you’d like to stay in touch.
Personally, I prefer a regular arrangement with one exchange of messages a day, and I usually reply within 24 hours（笑）
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
If she leaves your message about confirming plans unread for more than a day, I start thinking that maybe I should take the hint and back off from her.
You should back off.
Actually, the first thing to consider is that the problem may lie with you, the person asking.
If you were a high priority, you’d get a reply within seconds.
If it’s a reply she needs to give to confirm plans, I’d expect her to respond within a few seconds, minutes, or tens of minutes—or a few hours at most. If she waits until the next day or several days later, it probably just means she’s waiting to see what plans she has with someone else—or deliberately choosing not to reply.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
No matter what, I always reply within half a day.
I match the other person’s pace, but even one exchange every three days feels like a lot to me.
I don’t mind slow replies as long as they don’t cause any problems, but people who take more than 24 hours are usually the type to let their LINE messages pile up, so I don’t really trust them.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
It depends on the person.
My monthly arrangement partner doesn’t want her boyfriend or family to find out, so I’m hidden on her LINE.
She only replies when she checks her messages. It’s not unusual for her to take one to three days to respond, but I understand. I’m the type who’s fine with using LINE only for practical messages about confirming our date plans, so it doesn’t bother me.
We have a few rules: confirm the date by LINE three days beforehand, and make sure we can reach each other easily on the day. She always keeps to them and never cancels at the last minute, so I’m happy to wait.
It depends on the person.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
You already seem to understand the situation.
As you said yourself, it depends on the other person—and on you as well.
I generally only respond when the woman reaches out to me, so if she doesn’t contact me, things simply end there. If she messages me after a month and asks to meet, I usually brush her off and move toward ending things unless she gives me a very good reason to stay interested.
There was one time in the past when a woman left my confirmation message the night before unanswered all night. I sent her a cancellation message saying, “Since I haven’t heard back, I assume we’re not meeting today.” Dealing with an inconsiderate woman is a waste of time, so I think it’s fine to walk away.
In this case, though, she sent me another LINE a few hours after my cancellation, explaining the circumstances and apologizing. Her explanation was convincing, so I forgave her. We’re still seeing each other today.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
